


The Origin of R

by Venstar



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Adventure, M/M, Snark, Spain, bond is still bond, boothroyd is Q, our q is a minion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-27
Updated: 2017-06-26
Packaged: 2018-10-11 17:24:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 35,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10470228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Venstar/pseuds/Venstar
Summary: There comes a time, when your past catches up to your future.  For Adam, the future Quartermaster (although he totally doesn't know this, sssh don't tell him), this is how his meager beginnings at MI6 collided with R’s rebellious nature, and how she came to be.  Desperate to escape a situation of her own making, R turns to an old hacker mate and drags him through his own worst case scenario of past meeting present...they adopt a trusty 00 agent along the way, or perhaps, he adopted them.





	1. Boffin, Popstar or Vampire?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [QHolmes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/QHolmes/gifts), [Tsuyu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tsuyu/gifts).



> i've had a brain worm about R and it needed to come out. this is the result. fo my ladies, one in particular, who my brain has latched onto as my version of R.  
> I'll post a chapter a week, check back on Monday/Tuesdays!

 

Q branch was dark, the skeleton night crew of only a dozen of its denizens lurked within it’s depths. Old Boothroyd had gone home long ago, muttering and mumbling about explosive pens, cars that doubled as boats and whether or not he was going to stop and pick up a sandwich for dinner. One of the agents had ruined his last one, thinking it was some sort of secret spy sandwich and had tried to figure out how it worked.

“That’s my lunch!” Boothroyd had snapped at 004 who was standing there with deli meat and cheese all over his hands, mustard in his hair and a confused look on his face.

“Sorry.” 004 had mumbled, before turning on his heel and running for the exit.

“Idiots. My job description didn’t include ‘babysitting’ idiot agents. Who let him in here?” Boothroyd glared about, but none of the techs and lab rats made eye contact. “Hmmmph, I’m going home. Call me if there’s an emergency, don’t call me if someone was an idiot and DON’T let 007 in here. I can’t afford to have him pilfering through the archives pocketing things willy nilly.”

The room full of Q-branch staff looked around at each other. Boothroyd had left, without pointing out which of them was now in charge. As hour after hour passed by, the number of workers dwindled, the laboratories and testing sites were shut and locked down, all that remained were just three night techs. At shift change, they began to take stock of which agent was where.

“Um,” Mary, the only woman on shift, chewed on her nail. “How many agents are in the field, currently?”

“You don’t know?” A voice called out from across the room.

“Shut up Davis, do you?” Mary asked. She got no answer, merely a shrug. “Do any of you? Hello?” Her voice rang out in the cavernous room, echoing back to her.

A soft, firm voice sang out across the room. “There are currently three double-oh agents on short assignment. 002 in Rwanda, 003 in Mexico, 005 is in Austria. Two double-ohs are on long-term undercover, 006 in Russia…”

“Oh thank God, at least we don’t have to worry about that one,” Davis, from across the room yelled out.

“As I was saying, 001 is in Japan and as always, there are various field agents roaming about.”

“How come you know all of that? Adam, was it?” Mary asked, she leaned to the side of her computer station, searching for the owner of soft spoken voice. She saw the new guy, a young, pale man with a dark head of curly hair, hunkered down at his computer station. Newbies were automatically assigned night time shifts. They’d be less of a nuisance to Boothroyd and wouldn’t be in the thick of things, until they had been there longer than a year...if they could survive a year of tedious night time assignment. The young man's chin rested on his folded arms along his desk.

“Correct, well, I paid attention to the changeover briefing. Plus, I just looked it up.” Adam pointed to his monitor. “Now the question we should be asking ourselves…”

He was interrupted again by Mary and Davis’s voices ringing out in unison. “WHERE’S 007.”

Adam laughed, “Well I wasn’t going to ask THAT. But since you are asking that question...I have no idea. You know he has a mind of his own. Mary, you better lock the door, in case Boothroyd forgot.”

Mary jumped off her stool, her ponytail swinging behind her as she ran to enter in the lock codes to the keypad. “Whew.” She sighed and slumped over to rest her hands on her knees.

“Oh God. Just in time,” Davis whispered from across the room.

“What?” Mary asked, she turned and saw 007 peering through the windows of the door. She ducked to the side as his blue eyes tracked her. “Shit, what do we do?”

Adam spoke softly and quietly, an ominous foretelling in his tone, “You locked the door, he can’t possibly get in.”

-Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep-

The inhabitants of Q-branch froze, as they heard the press of the keypad outside.

“You guys remember Jurassic Park, right?” Mary asked the room at large. The room’s occupants all nodded their heads.

The door’s lock clicked, the handle turned, 007 was about to be allowed full entry into Q-branch.

“How…” Mary’s voice trailed off before she slammed her body against it, “Lock the door, lock the door, lock the door!” She yelled.

Davis jumped up from his chair, “He already overrode the code! What do you want me to do!”

“Re-lock it or come help me hold the door, he’s pushing against it and I can tell that son of a bitch is just playing with me!”

“He can hear you, you know!” Davis yelled, “Why am I yelling, he can hear me too and he’s probably laughing, that son of a….nothing I would say out loud, what would get me killed.”

“We could weld it shut,” Adam raised his voice, speaking from behind them, still at his work station.

“Adam,” Davis called over his shoulder, “You arse, we’re not going to need the welder if he gets in. We’re gonna need like a bear trap or something.”

“Ah, perhaps Boothroyd still has one in storage.” Adam rose from his workstation, all slouchy cardigans, plaid pants and bony elbows. As if someone had dressed a crane up to go to work and then placed its nest upon it’s head.

“Are you shitting me?” Davis asked. He pressed his back against the door and reached for the keypad, and well that didn’t work. 007 gave one good push to the door and the night techs were pushed back. Mary leapt to the side, 007 breezed past her, a charming smile on his face.

“You can’t come in here,” Mary called after him, but he ignored her and continued to prowl through Q-branch, stopping to poke and prod at the various prototypes and blueprints that were piled high throughout the branch. “Do something,” She hissed at Davis. His only response was to give her a wide eyed stare. “Ugh, useless. Adam, suggestions...” Mary cut herself off and hissed at Davis when she saw Adam’s atrocious mustard cardigan headed in the direction of the double-oh magpie, who was browsing through the rifle prototypes, some only in partial set up. “He’s gonna die!” Mary and Davis both shook their heads in unison, trying silently to communicate with Adam.

“He’s so dead.” Davis whispered theatrically from the side of his mouth. “He was so new, I liked him...for the five minutes he was alive.”

Adam approached the browsing agent, who was humming, or doing what could be described as basically purring, as he looked to his heart’s content at the rifles and scopes. “Hello sir, are you being served?” This got a side-eye response from the agent, followed by continued ignoring. “Or are you just browsing? We do have a two for one special going on right now.” Adam saw a small twitch appear at the corner of the agent’s mouth.

“You’re a smart one,” 007 said, his fingers smoothed over the barrel of one of the rifles, before digging around and fitting one of the detachable scopes to it.

“That’s what they tell me,” Adam sighed out, “It was either this, or become a pop star.” That got the agent’s attention. 007 spared a glance at the slip of a youth with the wild hair, addressing him.

007 turned back to sight down the rifle scope, “You’re also quite young.”

Adam blew his breath out, “Very observant, 007. It is one of the requirements for working 14 hour days, or becoming a pop star. They don’t like it if you look your age before you get a proper record deal. It tends to sour the fans.” This time a grin pulled itself across 007’s face. Score, perhaps I won’t die tonight, Adam thought. “I have no idea why Q-branch requires boffins to look so young. Perhaps it’s to give the appearance that we’re vampires, sucking the life out of Q, rather than the agents.”

007’s hands stilled. He glanced over at the scrawny tech, who seemed not at all nervous or perturbed with having a conversation with him. “Boffin, pop star or vampire. Interesting life choices.”

“Yes, I thought so. What about you?”

007 had a mind to ignore the impertinent questions. He waited for the ever present fear of the agents to take it’s place and for the all too inquisitive young man to shuffle off. One moment, two moments and nothing. The young man merely leaned a hip against the table and crossed his arms, as if he were engaged in nothing more than pleasantries with a coworker. His green eyes steady, his face clear of sweat or ruddiness. 007 turned his attention back to the rifles and deigned to answer. “Oh, I don’t know. To not be a boffin, pop star or a vampire.”

“Hmm, that’s a shame. I think you would have made a fantastic boffin.”

007 smiled, “Not a pop star?”

A huff of laughter, followed by a negative shaking of a dark head. “No, no absolutely not. Unless you have a fantastic voice you’re hiding away. If so, we’d have to adjust your profile to accomodate a few of the more unusual undercover opportunities. Fancy playing to a sold out theatre? No, you’ve got a pretty good grasp of what goes down here in Q branch, no matter how much of a hard time you give Q. Here, try this one.” He put together another rifle and scope and held it out to 007, grasping the one currently held within 007’s, he swapped them out.

James noticed that his hands were steady throughout the entire exchange. He flicked his gaze up to survey his surroundings. The other two techs were still huddled on the far side of the room.

“Thank you.” James said, once the switch was made. “But I only know what I’m told about the equipment by Q, when he decides to share.”

The young man snorted. “That’s a lie. You’re not down here just ‘playing’ with the equipment or trying to frighten us, you’re trying to figure things out. You only break them when we haven’t done a good enough job field testing them.” He smiled as 007’s blue eyes slid slowly over to him once, before looking back through the scope.

“Whatever do you mean?”

“Absolutely nothing. Let me know if any of these don’t work for you. Would you like me to arrange some time at the range for you this evening sir, I warn you the rifles are known to ride up with wear. I know you can sneak on there whenever, but if you’re going to shoot, it’d be helpful if we had some official feedback and data to keep us company on these long, cold nights.” Adam flashed a friendly smile.

James hefted the weight of the rifle in his hands. He slung it over his shoulder and grabbed a bag of ammunition. Adam thought for a moment that he would be ignored, until 007 turned to him with his hand out.

“Bond, James Bond.”

Adam smiled and grasped 007’s hand. “I know, I’m Adam. That’s Mary and Davis.” Adam pointed over his shoulder at his co-workers.

James gave the bony, but strong hand a firm shake before letting go. “Adam, Mary, Davis. I’ll be at the range, officially helping you keep your jobs. I know how Q hates to have his equipment go wandering off.”

The remaining techs and Adam watched as 007 breezed out the door, it whooshed and beeped as it sealed shut behind him.


	2. Double-Oh Sugar

The small group inhaled and exhaled as one, as the oxygen in the room returned to normal steady levels. Adam was surprised to find that he had indeed been holding his breath along with his boffin-mates. 

“You’re not dead.” Davis said, staring at Adam.

“Nope.” Adam shoved his hands in his pockets, hoping to keep the aftermath of the adrenaline shakes from being too noticeable.

Mary blinked, “How! He could have killed you fifty times over”

Adam smiled at his boffin-mates. “He’s a double-oh, and he works for MI6, same as us. When have you ever seen one of them actually kill another employee of MI6, traitorous wretches excepted.”

Mary and Davis exchanged glances.

“Well, never,” Davis said.

“There you go.” Adam said, smiling.

“Although, there was this one time Tanner actually pulled a gun on 007.” Davis said, snapping his fingers, “Does that count?”

“You never told me that! I’ll want to hear that story for sure!” Adam said, his eyes wide and lips pursed with laughter. “I can’t imagine Tanner doing that. M, yes, she’s quite intimidating, but Tanner.”

"Tanner is the shit." Davis replied, his eyes going hazy at the memory.

“Later Davis,” Mary said, “We’ll save that for when it gets really boring around here.”

“You’re no fun tonight,” Adam sighed, he pulled his hands out of his pockets with the excuse of checking his watch, his hands had stopped shaking.

“Well, the double-oh’s are scary as hell,” Mary said, “Handsome devils, but scary as hell.”

Davis rolled his eyes, “Sure, handsome. Come on, Q left no one in charge. We need to make sure that no one has called for help while we were busy letting 007 walk out of here with a prototype...oh and by we, I mean Adam.”

Adam laughed, “Alright, I’ll check on the long-term assignment double-ohs. Davis, you take the short-terms and Mary, check the rest?”

Mary and Davis gave a simultaneous “Yeses,” before scurrying away to check up on the agents. 

Adam shook his head at their foolishness regarding 007. Before he checked on the long-term double-ohs, he glanced around to see that his boffin-mates were busy, before he pulled the range logs up on his monitor, and saw that 007 had logged in and was shooting away. Data from the prototype was compiling nicely. Adam let the programs run and turned his attention to the deep cover agents. His attention to the range was soon diverted, since all of the long-terms had sent in requests for updated intel. He blew out a breath and began processing the information for their missions. 

“Scary or not, these guys are just trouble,” Davis grumbled out. “This one is planning on stealing a boat...FROM the bad guys!”

“What?” Mary asked, she popped up from her station, but was interrupted by a call coming through on her headset. “Drat, 003 is up to something. Davis...just make sure she doesn’t get caught!”

“Try to convince them to steal one from a local fisherman, that way we can write the wronged party a voucher and not be funding terrorism.” Adam called from his station.

“003 is a ruddy terror, she doesn’t need to steal a boat to do it. Crap. I lost her.”

“Get her back,” Adam said, standing up.

“I’m trying, but she’s gone silent. Dammit, I hate it when they do that! Pig headed, narcissistic, tantrum throwing toddlers!”

Adam smirked as he sat back down, “Say that three times fast.”

Davis thunked his head on his desk a few times and flipped Adam off.

The tiny skeleton crew of Q-branch kept the awkward wheels turning and burning. It was a long night. Which saw the return of 007, ‘sneaking’ back into Q branch, to deposit the prototype rifle and empty bag of ammunition. He looked at the small crew, absorbed in their tasks, the glow from their monitors highlighting their faces. He approached Adam, who was lost to three monitors filled with specs and code, he could hear a small tinny voice coming from the headset wrapped around Adam’s head. The bright light of his monitors highlighted the sharp lines of his cheeks, jaws and gave a ghostly appearance to his two-tone glasses. Whoever was talking, was doing it loudly and rapidly to be heard beyond the headset. Adam’s fingers flew over his keyboard, the screens of his monitors changed at an impressive, ungodly speed. James looked at the mug next to a mustard covered, wool elbow, it was empty. Adam glanced up briefly and gave him a small smile before turning his attention back to the agent that was demanding his assistance.

James retreated to the small breakroom down the hall, and started the electric kettle. He filled four mugs with tea bags from the communal stash, added water, placed them on a plate that was left in the drying rack, shoved some sugar packets into his pockets and walked backwards out to the doors of Q-branch. A few taps and he was back in and presenting the startled boffins with tea. Mary gave him a shy smile and thank you, she laughed out loud when 007 stuck his hip out, telling her that the sugar was in his pockets.

“I’m sure it is,” She joked with him. His eyes twinkled. 

Davis was still a bit leery, and thought to ask the question, "what have we done and who ordered you to poison us?"

"A double-oh never reveals his sources or kill orders."

"Boothroyd's experimenting again isn't he and you've been tasked with the experimenting with the delivery method. I'll expect a full report in the morning." Davis grumbled, but he accepted his mug with good grace and at 007’s hip wiggle, he laughingly dug out two sugar packets as well, Mary having paved the way for good fun.

James approached Adam, still ear deep in whatever shit that the agent on the other end was giving him. “Here,” he said, plunking a mug down. He took Adam’s headset off of him.

“Hey!” Adam protested and reached for it.

“006, if you can’t figure out how to read a god damned blueprint, then you need remedial training. Just because you’re bored, does not mean you get to play with Q-branch.”

Adam stared wide-eyed as 007 and 006 proceeded to have some strange, angry conversation in a mixture of Russian, Arabic and English above his head. He glanced at Mary and Davis, they were just sipping from their mugs watching the same show Adam was. 

“There you go,” James said, handing the headset back, “Alec’s sorted. I also brought the rifle back. It could use a bit of work.”

“We’ll get right on that,” Adam said softly, accepting a wad of sugar packets from 007’s pocket, he too got a kick out of that trick. “You brought us tea and sugar packets.”

“It seemed appropriate.” James smiled, it was small and brief.

“It’s appreciated,” Adam grinned. “Thank you.”

James looked up at the clock, it was 4am. He downed his mug and set it on the plate, “I’m off. Good bye, denizens of Q-branch.”

“Good night, 007,” The three night-boffins chorused. Eyes wide, they watched him saunter out.

Mary was the first to speak into the silence. “That was…”

“Weird.” Davis finished for her, “Very weird.”

“I thought it was quite civilized,” Adam said, he took another sip.

“I pulled sugar packets out of 007’s pockets. How is that civilized?” Davis asked into the void. “I pulled sugar packets out of 007’s pockets.”

“Mmhmm.” Mary said.

“Uh huh,” Adam agreed.

“He’s killed more people than I can count using my whole body.” Davis whispered reverently, his eyes wide.

“Uh huh,” Adam and Mary both agreed.

“And I took sugar packets out of his pockets.”

“Stop being dull,” Adam said. “I’ll let you pull sugar out of my pockets if that’ll make you feel better.”

“Stuff it, Adam. You’re not a double-oh. This night will go down as the strangest night I’ve ever had...in history.”

“This was strange for you?” Adam asked, “What kind of sheltered life have you been living?”

“He went to a very boring boarding school,” Mary said, sniggering at her boffin-mate.

“Har, har, har.” Davis said, sneering at Mary. “Well, we have just a few hours to go before day shift takes over. Who wants to have a chair race?”

The three night-boffins proceeded to entertain themselves, following the strange night time visit of 007. Adam looked at his monitor and smiled at the data that they had from 007’s time at the range. It was a productive evening, no matter how stressful double-oh agents made their life, whether up close or away on long term assignments. He blew a breath out, things were much quieter at MI6 than his early years, he could deal with surprise visits and playful agents.


	3. Sunshine and Silly Widgets

Morning brought the return of the Quartermaster, Old man Boothroyd, at the shift change. Unfortunately, shift change happened later than usual, due to unforeseen circumstances, although with that many double-ohs out and about, this should have come as no surprise. Boothroyd, however, was NOT taking it in stride. 

“What’s this? What’s this? More incompetencies? Why is shift change just happening now? Hmm? Hmm? I can’t leave anyone alone can I? You there, Mary, what’s the meaning of this.” 

Mary stood up to address Q, but Adam beat her to it. He rose from his workstation, this time it was a very tired crane, with a nest of brown curly hair that had gotten larger over night, unfolding himself, with shadows under his eyes. “003 decided to steal a boat and have a shoot out with the local cartel, who also owned the boat she was stealing. We’ve been working on her extraction and she didn’t want to swap over to another handler.”

“She what!?” Boothroyd asked, his eyebrows rose to the top of his head and he paused in the process of putting his lab coat on. “She can’t do that.”

Adam sighed, a puff of air rising to lift his fringe, “I…”

“You! You’re not in charge while I’m gone.” Boothroyd growled, he begins to fiddle with his coffee mug and slowly drifts between stations, as if staying still would cause someone to soothe him.

“I know.” Adam said, he pushed his fingers under his glasses to press and rub his eyes. Babying his boss was the furthest thing from his mind right now, he had spent a good portion of the night babysitting other grown men and women who claimed to be adults as well.

“Mary, she’s your senior, so is Davis. Davis, where are you?” Boothroyd continued his meandering walk, not really seeing, as he was talking, whispering into his mug in between.

Davis poked his head out from behind his monitor, where he’d been hiding. He flashed a quick grimace to Adam and inhaled before drawing Q’s attention. “Here, Q.”

Boothroyd pointed a gnarled finger at Davis. “Ah, see there, both of them are senior to you. You’re only a junior tech, much less a proper handler. Davis, get out here, front and center.” Boothroyd’s voice rose. “Where’s the other one?”

“Adam handled himself just fine, Q.” Davis spoke, standing up for Adam.

“It’s his job and yours on the line for just fine! We’re supposed to be exceptional and how can we be exceptional if you pass off your duties to a novice! What were you doing?”

“Q, there were several agents in the field, all wanting updated intel or to steal or blow up sh-shtuff that they weren’t supposed to!” Davis’s voice rose and his face began to flush in agitation. 

Mary strode up to the arguing pair, determined to save Davis and Adam’s position and present herself for any sort of punishment for dereliction of duty that Boothroyd saw.

Boothroyd’s fingers tapped his cup in a staccato rhythm, he waited until Mary had presented herself directly in front of him. “What’s this nonsense Mary, couldn’t do your job?”

“No sir, I mean yes sir. Yes I could do my job and the best choice was leaving 003 in Adam’s hands, not switching her to another handler, which we did not have. Davis was busy with 002.”

Boothroyd poked his finger in the air, “And what were you doing!?”

“Supervising and providing back up. We are supposed to offer some sort of training to the new recruits Q, I can’t keep pulling them off the line. How am I or you supposed to evaluate their performance for the future if we have no record of it. 003 called in and it went to Adam, it went downhill fast, but he was keeping up with her and planning her extraction. It made sense to leave her with him.”

Q glared at Mary and then Adam and Davis in turn, before his eyes broke into a sly little gleam. “M will hear about this, I want those transcripts forwarded to me for review. Clear out, that’s an order.”

Mary, Davis and Adam froze, until Mary spoke up. “Are we fired, Q?”

“Fired? What? No, just go home. We’ll discuss this at your next shift.” Boothroyd said, he saw the tense line of each of his tech’s shoulders slump a little in relief. “Maybe you’ll think about the results of your actions next time, hmm. Go home, you silly widgets, efficiency is M’s real name, she’ll want to review the transcripts, especially if you managed to keep 003 out of the fire.” Boothroyd shuffled off, mumbling into his cup as he stalked through to the testing labs. 

“Think about it.” Mary repeated, “think about it.”

Davis rolled his eyes, “Yeah I thought about it for five seconds. Like how much I don’t want to be murdered in my sleep by whomever M decides to send. Hopefully it’s 003, Adam got her out of the mess she instigated, maybe she’ll go easy on him.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Adam said, “I’m not a proper handler, you know that.”

Mary rolled her eyes, “I know, we’re really not in trouble and you DO need the training. You were on the line when she called in and you’re quicker on the draw at hacking into the most inconceivable, hodge podge system than we are. There was no way I was going to cut your direct communication off and make her go through me, where I would have to get the information from you and play a three way game of it. This was more efficient and Q is oddly happy about it.”

“She survived,” Davis said, “Shouldn’t that really be the only thing that matters? I mean, if anyone deserves getting chewed out, it’s 003. That shoot out could have been avoided and you know it.” He poked Adam in the chest. 

Adam rubbed at where Davis had poked him, “She should be taken to task for that, it was a mistake, Next time…”

“No,” Mary said, “We don’t do that. You’ll learn that. Don’t ever second guess what you did in the moment that caused you to save an agent's life. If you fuck up and they end up dead, then we’ll talk. If they survive, then whatever you did was a win.”

“We DID do good work tonight,” Davis said, his voice lowered to a conspiratorial whisper, “and we pulled sugar packets out of 007’s pockets.”

Adam was surprised into a huff of laugh, “Sorry, it has been a long night. I’ll take Q’s advice, right now and go home. See you back later...today, tonight. What time is it?”

“It’s go home time,” Q muttered as he swanned by in a motorized wheelchair, it was releasing small, spiked metal balls behind him as he rolled past. He raised his mug high above his head in passing.

“One day, I’ll figure out if those things are designed for real missions or if Q’s just pulling our chain.” Davis grumbled out as he watched the white haired old man roll off, leaking spikes. “What agent would need a spiked ball throwing wheelchair. Are we spying in old folks homes over seas now?”

“Well, it does have a sort of poetry about it. Think about it, a retired pensioner, sitting in the rec room and you want to escape an abusive orderly, that would come in handy.” Adam said, he bent to pick up a couple of the spiked balls. “Hmmm, could use a bit of optimizing. The spikes are too broad and close together, it would be more like stepping on a set of legos. Painful, but not damaging.” Adam tucked it away in his pocket, perhaps he’d work on it later.

“You are an odd bird.” Davis laughed.

“Thank you.”

“An odd bird’s nest.”

“No, thank you.” Adam said, he ran a hand through his hair, trying to calm it down, but it was too late. Hours of finger combing due to stress and it was doing what Davis said it was, pretending it was a bird’s nest.

They parted ways at the main doors to MI6, Mary headed for a small breakfast cafe across the bridge, that offered a stunning view of the buildings and where her boyfriend would meet her, before she went home to crash until her next shift. 

“Good day sun, good day birds, good day Adam and Davis!” Mary sang out as she ran waving, away from them, her floral skirt fluttering behind her.

Davis jogged off to find his bicycle, hoping it wasn’t stolen...again. “God damned bike thieves. I’m going to play in R&D until I come up with something that will stun the hell out of the thieves and paint them hot pink and alert the police and the double-oh’s. Oooh maybe 007 would enjoy stalking bike thieves!”

“I’m sure he has absolutely nothing better to do than look after your bike...that you frequently leave unlocked and thrown against other bikes hoping no one will notice.” Adam said, shaking his head at Davis’s poor bike planning.

“Spoilsport!” Davis yelled, bent over the bike rack.

Adam squinted into the morning sky, a rare flash of sunlight appeared through the clouds and moved across the city in an arc. “Hello, villainous laser of doom!” He greeted the sun as it sliced over him, “Oh no, I’m melting, I’m melting. Save me!”

“Do you regularly need help from melting in the sunlight? Perhaps you are a vampire after all, although shouldn’t you sparkle or be engulfed in flames by now?”

Adam spun on his heels, 007 stood just behind him, wearing a set of navy blue MI6 athletic wear and battered trainers, hands on his hips, watching him as if he were going to do anything interesting but stand there and stare.

“It’s more melting than flames, I know that disappoints you, what with your penchant for anything exploding. I’m also afraid the really old vampires don’t sparkle so much as the younger generation. After all, I am over 900 years old, once you hit around 450, your sparkles start to fall off.” Adam said, he nudged his glasses up and looked at his feet for a brief second, wondering where his brain had gone and whether or not the ground would swallow him up for his foolishness.

That at least got a crack to split across 007’s face, it widened until Adam almost had to squint at it’s brightness.

“You’re a funny kid.”

“So I’ve been told, multiple times, and I’m not a kid. Adult vampire, remember. An old, old, old vampire. Fading and melting before you. Speaking of old...” Adam coughed at the look of ‘oh really, you’re going there’ on 007’s face. “I mean...shouldn’t you be...not here? You just left a few hours ago.”

007 shrugged, “My time is my own, to waste or save.”

“Hmm, yes. Quite. Well, good ni...day, doub..Bond.” Adam gave a small wave of his hand as he walked off to catch the tube, his trusted friend, his steady steed to carry him away into the day. Away from the hustle of MI6 and sneaky agents, one of whom was the scariest and handsomest devil of all, if Mary was to be believed.


	4. The Message

Nothing ever really changes, until it does. You can lead a life of simple pleasures and anonymity for as long as you think you like, until it all comes crashing down on your head. Where once there was peace, there is now chaos. It’s not like your past matters, that it will never catch up to you, it either does or it doesn’t...and sometimes we catch it.

A few hours later, with a growling stomach, Adam was jogging out of his flat, laptop bag bumping against his legs, he let the door slam behind him in his eagerness to caffeinate and get some fresh air before he had to return to the sunless depths of MI6.

“Perhaps I am becoming vampire like.” He hissed at the sun and laughed at his own joke. “That’s going to get old real soon.” He walked briskly for a few blocks, cut through a park and found himself on the street that led to his favorite house of ill-retreat, _**‘COFFEE NEVER SLEEPS**_.’ It was a favorite of the locals, board games were scattered about, squishy chairs, dark corners, banquettes and heavily scarred barnwood tables that the spilled coffee and tea seemed to add nothing but character to.

“Will that be all sir?” The cashier looked at him questioningly, hands poised to add or end his order of one large ass coffee, the largest assed coffee that they had.

“No, two BLT croissants, please.” Adam recalled his growling stomach, his mouth watered at the thought of bacon.

The cashier’s fingers punched the order in and scribbled on a cup. He held it out and one of the baristas behind him, snatched it from his finger tips as she passed by, the cashier started the sandwiches order. Adam moved to one of the corner banquettes, to open his bag, power up his laptop and take advantage of the coffee shop’s wifi. He browsed a bit, until his coffee and croissant were set in front of him by a hurried barista, a quick smile and she was off. Adam cracked his knuckles, pushed his hair out of his eyes, took a bite and sip now it was time to get down to business. His fingers flew as he worked, the light of the laptop reflected off of his glasses. Two BLT croissants, a scone and a half empty, third cup of coffee later...a message window appears.

“Oh, that’s...shouldn’t happen, not good.” Adam moved to power off his laptop, but the cursor started moving.

_sos...sos...sos...don’t turn off...encrypted...secure._

Adam wasn’t so sure about that, he opened another window and ran his own program.

_tag ur it._

Adam glared at the screen. “Not funny.” He typed, while simultaneously trying to track the user of the window.

_we need to talk._

Adam’s fingers hesitated, he knew he should just turn his machine off, burn everything, destroy the coffee shop, it would be a shame...who was he kidding, he’d miss their croissants. Damn that curiosity.

“Who is this?” He typed instead, he’d regret it, he knew it.

_R_

“Shit.” Adam whispered out loud, as he sat back. He hadn’t seen that username in...well...as long as it took for MI6 to think you had forgotten all about your ‘friends’ or had turned them all in. Fuck, he’d forgotten about R, which is always a mistake, that little devil always knew how to make his life miserable and popping in to say hello thinking that he had forgotten who he knew...WAS JUST LIKE R. ARGH. Adam pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. MI6 would expect him to track R down, but R...they had a history, as annoying as it was.

_Stop swearing or it goes in the jar, drama queen._

“Shit, ugh.” Adam repeated himself and groaned out loud. R and those stupid jars. He entered in a response, “How did you find me?”

_cctv. wave!_

“Shit.” His fingers fiddled with the handle to his mug of coffee, he took a sip and turned to look over his shoulder. There. It was slight, but it was there, one of the CCTV cameras moved slowly, until it was focused on the window just now. He stuck his tongue out.

“Excuse me, are you alright?” A barista clearing the table next to Adam’s spoke, breaking his concentration.

“Huh?” Adam refocused on the coffee shop that he had ignored in his chat with R.

“You’ve just said shit three times in a row and in my experience, that’s when something’s really gone cock up.” The Barista gave a one sided shoulder shrug and looked at Adam with helpful expectation, as if he could solve everyone’s problems who walked through the door. Barista therapy at it’s best.

_tell him to go clean a cup._

Adam glanced at the new message. “Oh, hmm, just...losing an online chess game. Old school chum, we do this often. Sometimes he loses, sometimes I lose. This time, it’s me.”

“Alright, can I get you anything else?” The Barista asked, he looked a bit deflated, sad that a customer wouldn’t bare their entire soul and life story to him this day.

Adam surveyed his little copse of dishes. “No, thank you, I’m good. Maybe in a bit.” The barista nodded and made a hand motion towards the empty plates. “Sorry, thanks.” Adam hurriedly passed over the plates, trying to keep the barista from looking directly at his screen.

_he’s cute._

“Shut it” Adam stabbed at his keyboard.

_we need to talk._

“No.”

_needs to happen. we meet._

Adam drummed his fingers on the table, he hesitated answering R. “No.”

_i know what you do._

Adam’s typed furiously, his fingers punching the keys harder than necessary, “What do you think I do?”

_don’t make me say it online. they’re watching. you’re in public. in a coffee shop you cheese bucket. stop using the darknet name you never gave up...HAZARD._

_“Stuff it R.”_

this line is secure but not for long. we need to meet.

“I can’t.”

_you have to._

“If you say you know what I do, then you know I can’t have contact with you”

_Centrifuge._

His mind swirled around that one word, his fingers froze and he felt all the blood drain from his face to his toes, he must have stayed still for too long, dammit.

_tick tock tick tock._

“Prove it.”

_i’ll initiate the download now._

“PLEASE DON’T.”

_meet me. you can explain it to your handlers after._

If he didn’t respond, R would either give him the information or not, depending if it was raining in Timbuktu. His patience was rewarded.

_meet me in the park. saturday. 2pm. by the fountain. i’ll be the one with the cat ears._

 “Anything else sir?” The barista had circled back to his part of the coffee shop. Adam glanced up at the interruption, there must have been something in his expression that had the guy back up with his hand up, “sorry, didn’t mean to startle, you want a refill?”

He had been there a long time and the grace of purchasing a few croissants and coffee had probably worn off. Adam flashed a brief smile. “No thank you, I’m heading out.”

The barista nodded and removed Adam’s empty cup. The CCTV feed, Adam glanced back at the cameras, he’d have to find a way into them, see if R left anything behind, even if it was plain footage of him, it would need to look randomly captured, or deleted. He couldn’t guarantee his own safety if he left it in the hands of someone else. For all he knew, R had either been stalking him for a lengthy time and had cleaned any evidence from the system that she had tampered with, or, she had slammed in and slammed out, deleting any of her presence, but nothing of him. He wouldn’t know which, until he was in and he didn’t trust R’s situation enough to know which one she would have done.

Adam gnawed on his lower lip, twisting the thin paper napkins on the table around his fingers. He began to shred them as he began to plan how to enter and delete footage, and what to tell MI6. “Nothing, absolutely nothing.”

If MI6 discovered he had accessed the CCTV cameras, they’d want to know why, and Adam wasn’t sure what R would do if cornered or if she felt he ratted her out. His situation was his own doing, she had no responsibility to it, she would either complicate it, disconnect and move on, leaving him to face his own mess, but if she had what she implied, then he couldn’t risk telling anyone in MI6. Too many...variables. There are always people willing to sell information to the highest bidder, regardless of Queen and country.

“And what kind of people am I?” Adam asked, he got the clink of silverware, the aroma of coffee and laughter as the answer to his question. “I got comfortable. Dammit.” He pushed his glasses up and gathered his things up. “Dammit, dammit, dammit.”

Adam rubbed his face, “Shit. Shit, shit, shit.” Shit four times in a row, yeah, the barista was correct, it was that bad. He closed his laptop, leaving it on, letting the tracking program do it’s work to trace the message source. It would be expected, but R was clever, there would be a dummy setup. Fuck, somehow R had tracked him through the CCTV cameras, to find where he worked, probably where he lived. He sighed, at least the messaging happened while he wasn’t at either place, nor was he randomly “bumped” into. This way, he could plan. He checked the time, he only had a few hours left, before his night shift started. He could either spend it in leisure, or hide in his flat, paranoid, obsessing over everything he could do to hide from R. He rolled his eyes, he’d be found, there was no hiding. R may be young, but far from stupid and very, very resourceful. The last thing he wanted was to move to a new unknown place and have R show up delivering his pizza. Running wasn’t the answer, but Adam couldn’t go home, not yet. He felt the need to move, be somewhere public. More public and less stationary than the coffee shop.


	5. The Unexpected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, comments, kudos are welcome. i don't bite, unless you ask.

A longish tube ride to Charing Cross, had him tossing a coin into the fountains in front of the steps to the National Gallery. He wished for safety and security, he figured two wishes wouldn’t hurt. He was through the entrance and soon, treading softly on the hardwood floors, surrounded by masters. 

Slowing, he walked and walked, the Gallery would close at 6pm, which left him plenty of time to get fine art and be paranoid before his shift started. When he got to Turner's Sun Rising Through the Vapor, he paused to admire the glow across the painted water, his shoulders relaxed and his head tilted, lost in thought for a moment before his internal monologue of the use of light and speeds, was interrupted by a quiet, low voice speaking nearly in his ear.

“You seem to be drawn to the sun, perhaps there is a little bit of vampire about you.”

Adam jumped at being addressed, he turned...in the Claude and Turner room...his mind joked to him. A quick look around to find the source, and oh dear. 007, standing just behind him, studying the same painting he was, and then he was studying Adam. His clear blue eyes full of curiosity and amusement.

“Vampires long for the sun, it’s one of our tragic faults.” Adam said mournfully, oh my god we are not having this conversation, Adam winced internally, outwardly, he remained frozen and wooden.

This got a fine, barely there, blond eyebrow to rise up. “And people say I have tragic faults. I can’t say that avoiding the sun is one of them.”

“Judging by the color of your tan, I would say not. Tanned skin used to be looked down upon, did you know that? It made it easy to play ‘spot the working class’ so one could feel superior.” Adam’s soft voice filled the space in between them.

“Are you a prejudiced vampire?” Bond’s voice returned just as dry and soft, a whisper in the plains, carrying only so far as to reach Adam’s ears.

Adam laughed, it carried through the room, he had no care for who heard him. “You’re a very strange man. We have to stop meeting like this, people will talk.” 

“People will always talk, that’s what they do,” 007 said, his eyes crinkled at the edges. Adam thought he was oddly amused by their strange interactions.

Adam moved on through the room, slowly, he exited to the next one, expecting Bond to excuse himself, or just toddle off in another random direction, scaring another random soul, but he seemed just fine trailing along with him. To say it was distracting, to be followed by a sharp dressed man, oh no, there’s an unexpected ear worm, Adam smiled to himself, silently singing to about how everyone’s crazy ‘bout a sharp dressed man. He flicked his eyes to the side, hoping Bond couldn’t hear his brain. They walked in partial silence, and thoughtful commentary about some of the pieces and history of the building, until an hour before closing. 

“I have to get my bag, see you...around, I suppose.” Distracted by thinking of his upcoming problem with R, all stored within his laptop, he forgot about the agent shadowing him, until the girl handing him his bag dropped the tired hangdog look and perked up. Adam glanced over his shoulder as Bond took the strap to his bag and slung it over his shoulder. 

“Coffee?” Bond asked, without waiting for a response, he walked to the gallery exit. Adam startled like a colt, limbs skittering out, before he managed to get himself together, to follow his precious bag, as it swung from the shoulder of one of MI6’s deadliest, magpie agent. Maybe running into Bond wasn’t a coincidence, maybe MI6 knew...

“Hey, hey, hey!” Adam said, hurrying up and grabbing onto the strap, Bond allowed it to slide off his shoulder with a smile. Adam attempted to flay the agent with disapproval as he took possession of his precious and slung it diagonally across his own body. “What’s this about, I haven’t done anything.” That got another smile for him.

“A man saying that he hasn’t done anything, when he hasn’t done anything, sounds very suspicious. Have you done something?” Bond asked glancing up and down Adam.

“Yes, protected a valuable investment. You know, there is only one of these in the world?” Adam asked, he patted his bag.

“Adam, was it, even I have a laptop, they’re not quite so special as they used to be.”

“They let dinosaurs have laptops?” Adam’s eyes widened innocently behind his spectacles, surprised that they’d allow Bond to touch something so delicate. “I can’t imagine MI6 letting the Tyrannosaurus Rex of their agents touch one.”

Bond’s eyes narrowed at his dig about his age. “I even know how to turn it on.”

“I’m impressed.” Adam said, letting his own eyebrows fly up to get lost in his fringe. “How many have you gone through?”

“You know,” Bond motioned with his arm to continue walking, “you just might make it in the Quartermaster programme.” He guided them out of the gallery and led the way to a fresh cup of coffee on Trafalgar Square. 

It was an odd thing, Adam thought, to be having a casual conversation and coffee with this svelte creature, wearing a bespoke suit, who normally killed on the side, for a living. At least the pay was good, Adam thought, it was on the tip of his tongue to ask about hazard pay, but he stopped, one should handle a double-oh with good manners. To be fair, Adam had spent his own time pushing and directing the information at the men and women that did the killing so, in the end, for a few of the kills, he was responsible for some of them. 

“What are you doing Saturday?” Adam asked suddenly, a solution to meeting R popping up in his head.

Bond looked at him out of the corner of his eyes. “It's only coffee, not a-”

“Oh no, no no no!” Adam waved his free hand in the air, “I know it's just coffee, I wouldn't...I mean...that’s not...no no no....you are...I'm flattered but, I mean, you’re flattered...uh...we’re both flattered I’m sure, but...”

“A vampire/human relationship would never work out.” Bond shook his head slowly, sadly.

Adam made a sound reminiscent of a deflating helium balloon, he blew his fringe out of his eyes before he glared up at Bond. “I've had worse relationships.” 

“Hmmm so have I.” Bond gave his mysterious answer and returned to his take away cup. 

Adam pressed on, like a good soldier. “About Saturday?” 

“Go on.”

A sigh and a sip, before Adam continued, “I'm supposed to meet a friend, and by friend I mean-”

“Another vampire?”

Adam laughed, “You're never letting that go are you?”

“No, never. So, your not so good vampire friend, wants you to meet them. You don’t seem excited about this, but I could be wrong. Do you ever look excited?”

“Har, har, har. Right, it's...I haven't told MI6 about it, the contact. First contact.” Adam said, correcting himself.

“First contact? I thought we were discussing meeting vampires, not Vulcans.”

“Arse. I’ll remember you’re familiar with Star Trek, don’t you forget that.” Adam poked Bond in the shoulder.

“Why does MI6 need to know who you interact with.” Bond looked intrigued, uh oh.

“Let’s just say that it’s a part of why I work for MI6. My connections...my problems, should I say, became problems that MI6 was very eager to get their hands on.”

“And you haven't told them about ALL your problems.”

“Well, as much as I was able to, more groups, not individuals, some of the individuals of interest were in these groups. Unfortunately, I had forgotten about the nature of THIS particular individual, who is kind of like you, but with orange hair.” Adam shrugged his shoulders.

“How dreadful, I don’t think I’d look good with orange hair. While I’m flattered that you think I represent the entirety of MI6, I assure you, I’m just a lowly employee.” Bond said with grace and a whole lot of derision.

“I feel like I can trust your...odd sense of discretion, when it doesn’t involve blowing up half a country.” 

“Your generation doesn’t know the meaning of fun.” Bond groused, he swirled his cup and shook his head.

“I appreciate a good explosion, just as much as the next guy does, but anyways, I'm supposed to meet them Saturday at 2pm. If you have a free moment around that time, would you mind helping me out?” Adam looked hopefully up at Bond, he tried to put the puppy in his eyes, silently begging.

“By spying on you? So old school. Will we have walkie talkies?”

“I’ll provide ear pieces if you really want one. Perhaps I could put that old, shoe phone Q has lying around to use, you know, to make you feel at home.” Q stopped at the corner of the crosswalk, his coffee half gone, he looked up at Bond, surely some concern must have been written across his face.

“Two vampires meeting, what could go wrong?” 

“National security?”

“Intriguing. I'll check my appointment book.” Bond glanced at his watch, Adam guessed he was trying to figure out when to exit this horrid conversation.

“Thanks.”

“Far be it for me to lecture one on keeping secrets, but I can only hope, if this is serious, you will go to Boothroyd.” The Adult in Bond popped up and made itself known, responsibility dripped off his words.

“It's not something he could fix or handle. It’d be quite above his expertise, if I’m right.”

“Cocky little shite. M then.”

Adam shuddered, “Hopefully it won't come to that. So, Saturday?”

“Saturday. We’ll synchronize our watches.” 

And like the strange man, that Bond was becoming, he continued to walk with Adam, slowly as they finished their coffee, killing time by not taking the tube and walking all the way back to Adam’s flat, escorting him to the door. 

“The weirdest day ever, that follows the weirdest night ever.” Adam whispered to himself as he climbed the stairs, so named, it didn’t end unfortunately. “You realize it was just coffee right?” He said out loud, the only response he got was a small humming sound, his key was almost in the lock when Bond stopped his hand. Adam froze at the light touch.

Bond wasn’t looking at Adam, he was focused intently on the door, and then as if teleportation were a real thing, he found himself suddenly, with Bond in between him and his door. Adam’s breath bounced off the material of the grey bespoke suit and back, he nervously held it.

“Listen. Did you hear that?” Bond asked, his head tipped to the side.

“The cat? I have a cat.”

“No,” Bond said. “Not the cat.”

Adam held his breath and listened intently. “Music?” Adam answered loudly, confused, he blinked, nothing should have been left on. Sam Cooke's version of Unchained Melody plays softly in the background, it was his favorite to listen to when he was trying to wind down for bed. “Grommet, my cat, would not have been able to turn that on, I don’t think.”

Bond looked over his shoulder. “You don’t think?”

“It’s possible.”

“Would you bet your life on possible?” Bond whispered back. “Were you expecting company?”

“No.” Adam shook his head, his nose brushing Bond’s shoulder.

“A lover sneaking in perhaps?”

Adam smacked Bond on the arm, sharply, out of reflex. 

“I’ll take that as a no.” Bond studied the door some more, as if it would give him the answers to what he sought.

Adam huffed. “What do we do?”

“Step back.” Bond elbowed Adam, until he had a bit more room to maneuver and removed a Beretta from the shoulder holster he wore.

“You were armed in the gallery!” Adam said, his voice hissing. 

“And I’m still armed, aren’t you glad. Shh.” Bond ordered. “Give me your key.” 

Adam handed it over, holding his breath without realizing it, as Bond inserted it into his lock, thank God he hadn’t decided to just kick the door down. The key turned, the lock clicked and slowly, oh so slowly, Bond turned the knob and pushed the door open, swinging back out of the way. He waited a brief second, elbowing Adam again, as he tried to peer out from behind his bulk. 

“But…”

“Ssssh,” Bond hissed again. He then moved fast, his grey suit a blur and his warmth was gone from Adam’s side.

Adam hunkered down, in the space left by Bond, seeking empty reassurances in his absence. He heard no gunfire, which was good. He looked around on his floor, no one should be home, they all had day jobs. 

“Adam.” Bond said, his voice calling from somewhere in his flat. “Inside. Shut the door.” 

“What’s the password?” Adam asked, holding his breath, Bond could have been compromised and this was a trap.

“Boffin, pop star or vampire.” Bonds dry tones floated through the doorway, reaching Adam’s ears and causing them to pinken. 

“I hate you.” He whispered. Swallowing, he nudged his body awkwardly forward to peer around the edge of the doorway. Bond’s back was to him, he was standing in the living room.


	6. R

“That god damned, cunt sucking, son of a motherless whore!! Can't aim for shit, thieving fucknut!” R muttered to herself. Her leg was sliced open from a badly aimed bullet. Pilfered and plundered, a first aid kit lay open nearby. At least the scrawny, cheese bucket kept it well stocked. He was low on burn ointment though. A pad of gauze and tape had been recruited to wrap around her leg to stop the bleeding. Blood dripped on the floor as she continued to verbally abuse the poor idiot who had dared to think she was unarmed or weak. “Stupid fucking ricochet, fucking hit what you’re aiming for asswipe, suck less.” She wiped her hands on the floor and tossed her trash towards the middle of the room. She didn’t bother cleaning up her mess, she wasn’t Adam’s maid.

R sat slumped on the floor to Adam’s flat. She was relieved beyond measure that the idiot didn’t have better security, other than a hidden camera and shiny new dead bolts. She’d been able to access his camera feed, spy on him, loop it and pick his locks. Her clothing is dark, she’s just a shadow in the corner, her rolled up jeans are torn at the thigh. She had wedged herself with her back against a wall, in between a work bench and bookcase filled to the brim with programming manuals, books of poetry, art and various repair manuals to vehicles, weapons and small engines. She had a line of sight to the front door, and access to the unlocked window for a quick escape. 

Her laptop, the most prized possession in her life, covered in various stickers, a large black circle with a bold black R painted over it all, pinged. In pain and pissed as hell, R had wasted no time in booting up her facial recognition program, the minute they had appeared together on Trafalgar square. 

“Interesting.” Her eyebrows had winged up and her smile took on a devious quality, as she dove into the records of one Commander James Bond, C.M.G., R.N. Her injuries forgotten, “Oooh, nice, very nice. Good choice.” Her fingers twitched over her mobile, she was tempted to text Adam and let her know her opinion on the smartly dressed agent. 

She fiddled with the awkward lump beneath her navy blue, Millenium Falcon t-shirt, as on camera, Adam and Bond entered the building. Time was growing short, she would have to show her hand. She grinned, a feral slash of white across her face. Adam had been out for most of the afternoon, she had kept tabs on him through the CCTV, and now...he was right outside his door, with his new friend. 

A battered and well loved Jericho 941 lay on the floor to her left, next to her good leg. Music played softly in the background. Her ragged breaths filled the air, interspersed with the purrs of a cat nestled between the crevice of her straightened legs. Her body flooded with adrenaline once more as she dragged the black nails of her left hand over her weapon.

“I am ready,” she whispered, calming herself, or tried to, but she couldn’t draw a deep enough breath. She heard Adam’s voice, clear in the hall, the cat meowed and thumped it's head against her leg. “Sshhh not now cat.” 

She gave it a gentle push away with her right hand and winced from the pain coming from that shoulder. It's not broken, but it was probably slightly dislocated or she tore something. It had grown stiff and painful, during her vigil. She sniffled and thunked her head back against the wall. The cat moved away as the voices in the hall stopped, its ears perked up and it stared at the door. R stayed as she was, trying to regulate her breathing. 

A pause and R wondered how long it would take before someone would come in, the behavior was odd, “Huh,” she huffed, weird for Adam, not for the agent with him. She heard a slightly louder exclamation. 

“Music?”

R’s eyes flicked over to Adam’s stereo system, she had turned it on when she entered, to mask her sounds and to warn him that something was amiss in his flat. Apparently, he was slow to catch on, the agent must have heard it and stopped Adam from entering. Her hand tightened slightly on the Jericho, she thumbed at the decocker, not quite taking it off. 

Footsteps shuffled, the click of the key turning in the lock to where she was hiding. A pause, a sliver of light and Commander Bond was sliding inside, his back to the wall, R aimed carefully and waited for him to notice her. It didn’t take long. They were both holding their weapons, tensely aimed at each other, waiting for the other to make the wrong move. R studied him, his files didn’t do him half justice, he was a pretty picture. She smiled, Adam must be over the moon.

“You must be the other vampire.” Bond said softly into the dark flat, the cat meowed and crawled off of R to inspect the new visitor.

R kept the grin on her face, “Mr. Bond. I’ve been...expecting you.” She saw the hitch of his fingers on the Beretta. It wouldn’t take much for him to believe she was a threat if he didn’t already, guns have that effect on people. He made no sound, merely watched her, waiting. She didn’t disappoint. Keeping her hand steady, she lowered the muzzle of her gun away, and placed it on the floor. Bond made no move to lower his own weapon, his eyes noted her weapon’s location relative to her position and then examined the rest of her.

Bond walked further into the room, his gun still trained on her, no mercy from his quarter. That would have been a rookie mistake. “You know my name.”

“But you don’t know mine. A disadvantage. It makes you hesitant.” R said, smiling sweetly up at him, her eyes taking in everything, from the tips of his shiny ass, expensive shoes, to the tip of his Beretta and his military cut blond hair.

Face blank and unforgiving, Bond parried her statement with a question of his own. “Does it? Perhaps not knowing yours is an advantage.”

“Lack of emotional attachment? Arse, you’re cute, but you’re not my type.” R shook her head. “A shame though, you’d look great in my collection.”

“Really, and what’s your type?” Bond continued to prod.

“Mmmm, sociopaths...and not you.”

“Not anyone, I’d suspect.”

R made a pistol with her right hand and fired it at Bond. “Bingo bongo. People are ridiculous. You’re smart, thank God there’s a brain behind that pretty face.”

“Thank you.”

“Great. Now that we’ve been introduced, where’s Adam. I came here to speak to him, not agent Handsome Face with Brain. I’ve renamed you by the way. Mr. Bond is too formal. Agent Handsome Face with Brain...I’ve been expecting you. See, much better ring to it. Where’s Adam?” R’s left hand twitched but made no move to open and retrieve her weapon.

“Safe.”

R huffed a laugh out, “Safety is relative, just like everything else, mate. So, once more, because you’re a smart guy, your paperwork says so. Where’s Adam?”

“Slide the weapon forward and then you can talk to him.”

R tipped her head to the side and studied Bond one more time. MI6 chose well, he wasn’t going to give Adam up without stubbornly squabbling with R about it. She’d have to shoot him, quickly and cleanly, in order to get what she wanted.

“Don’t.” Bond said firming his grip and taking a step forward, settling into a stance. “If you do, I will kill you and end your chances of talking to anyone ever again.” 

R laughed at his threat. She slapped a hand against her good leg. “So sassy!” 

Bond refused to move any further, R decided to be nice and moving slowly, slid her gun across the floor. It didn’t quite reach Bond, but it was far enough away that she wouldn’t be able to get to it swiftly, not in her condition.

“I’m not the threat.” R said. She flinched, as Bond’s eyes seemed to get harder, colder.

“Everyone’s a threat.” He said it matter of factly, as if it were a lesson he had learned the hard way and once learned, never forgot.

“Adam or nothing.” R said, patiently repeating her demands, just as stubborn herself. 

Without taking his eyes off of her, he called out, quick and short. “Adam. Inside. Shut the door.” 

“What’s the password?” From just outside the door Adam’s voice drifted bravely inside. 

R held up her hand over her mouth, hiding her smile and trying not to laugh out loud. “He’s been around spies too long.” 

She nearly lost it after hearing Bond’s response to Adam’s nervous question. “Boffin, pop star or vampire.” 

There was a pause at Bond’s answer and the door was once more cracked open, further this time as Adam leaned through. Curiosity and caution warred with each other over his body, his eyebrows said SHOW ME, but his hands, white knuckled around the strap of his laptop said MAKE THE WRONG MOVE AND WE’RE OUT OF HERE. 

Bond didn’t move, he stayed where he was, as long as it took for Adam to get himself together.  
When it didn’t happen fast enough, he said quietly, “get in, shut the door and lock it. You have company.”

Adam shut the door with his foot and locked it without looking. “Company? How did you know?”

“Call it a survivor's instinct. Your ‘friend’ wasn’t going to wait until Saturday to meet you.”

“How-” Adam started to ask the same question over again, before Bond interrupted him.

“I wouldn’t.”

“Neither would I.” R said. “And I didn’t.”

At her voice, Adam stilled, more so than when he had been waiting for his senses to catch up to them. “R.” He breathed out.

“I need you to identify this person and then I’m calling MI6.” Bond said, eyes still on R. She started laughing.

“MI-fucking-6. MI-fucking-6, is so fucked, you have no idea!” R cackled out, her head thunked back on the wall as she continued to laugh at whatever it is that she found funny. “And he was part of it!” R pointed at Adam, wagging her finger.

Bond frowned, he was about to say something, until he felt the light touch of Adam’s hand on his shoulder. He jerked away from it slightly.

“Don’t.” Adam said, and before he could stop him, Adam rushed forward and scooped up R’s discarded weapon. His bag heavy against his side, he didn’t let it slow him down, instead he used it as a weapon and in pendulum style, let it slam down hard onto R’s injured leg as he crouched over her. 

R gasped, jerking upright at the pain. She hissed, before she was silenced. Adam gripped her bad shoulder tightly, his knee in the bicep of her good arm. The muzzle of the Jericho pressed under her jaw, tipping her head back. He leaned in to whisper in her face. “007 might not kill you today, but we all know what I can do to you if you don’t tell me why you’re here.”

“Adam.” Bond said, calmly. “Step back.”

“No.”

“Step back now. I don’t have a clear shot.”

“Listen to your boyfriend, Adam,” R said, in a sing song voice.

Adam pressed the muzzle of the gun lower and as far into the soft skin of R’s neck as he desired, not caring if it cut part of her air supply off, she tried to escape the pressure, but there was nowhere to go. She was soon trapped between the muzzle, the wall and Adam and his bony ass.

“Fuck you!” R whispered harshly, her voice muffled from the pressure and pain.

“You wish.” Adam raised his voice to be heard without turning. “You won’t need a clear shot, 007. I’ll do it on my own if necessary. What’s your game R?” 

“No games, I wasn’t joking. Centrifuge. It was almost stolen, but I stole it back.” R grinned, her sharp smile mean and delighted.

“Centrifuge is a fairy tale, to scare silly children, like yourself and me. Stop being vague and give me a real reason.”

“There is always an element of truth, in fairy tales.” R said, she tried to calm her breathing, despite what her ribs and now throat were telling her to do. “You know this, even though you’d deny it.”

Adam glared at R and let up a hair's breadth on the muzzle. “What happened to you.” 

R rolled her eyes, “I stole someone’s fairy tale, they didn’t like it.”

“Fuck, R!” At that, Adam jumped up and away from her, like it burned him to touch her. “Fuck, R! Fuck. Why me, why here, why now! Where are they, this didn’t happen yesterday.” Adam stalked away until he was even with Bond, his back still to R. “Shoot her if she moves. Shoot anything that moves...except me and the cat.” 

Said cat meowed into the silence that followed.

Bond sighed and glanced briefly and oh so boredly at Adam, “You, do not give me orders.”

“No one does, not even M, although you pretend to let her order you around.” Adam said distractedly, he began to pace around his flat, mumbling to himself, his hand disordering his already disordered hair. “I have to go, I have to leave. I can’t be here. You can’t be here.” Adam pointed at R, then Bond. “You can’t be here. You need to go. Now. Shoo, shoo!” 

He waved his hand at Bond, trying to mime ‘go away’, as if that could happen. Adam’s cat didn’t even budge, he just looked up at his owner with a curious expression, went back to ignoring him and proceeded to raise a hind leg and clean his butt.

“Show some class, Grommet.” Adam said with some exasperation.

Bond eyed the waving weapon still in Adam’s hand. “Levity is not your strong suit, nor is it the time. What’s Centrifuge and who shot your friend.”

“We need to leave. Now.”

R huffed a breath out. “Over dramatic much. No one knows I’m here. No one knows you’re you.”

Adam’s shoulders drooped, his laptop strap slipped off, but he caught it. He stepped over his narrow, scarred, gouged and burnt coffee table to sink onto his battered, red couch. Bond remained as he was, weapon aimed on R, a slight frown marring his face as he watched Adam’s movements. He dropped his head into his hands, banging his glasses against the Jericho. “Ow.” As if he’d done it a million times, he began to breakdown the gun, he fumbled around under his couch and brought out a cleaning kit.

“Really, when was the last time you cleaned this? No wonder you got shot with the sight this off and clogged with dirt. What did you do? Hit them with it?”

“Yes.” R said, primly.

“Splendid. 007, you would get on with R, she has a tendency to either throw her guns, or hit people with them. That’s not what they’re made for, FYI.”

“I’ll give you to the count of five, before I put you over my knee and spank the information out of you.” Bond said. 

R laughed at his remarks. “He’d like that.”

“You’d like that.” Adam said, ignoring Bond and focusing on R. “I couldn’t begin to tell you who shot R, I’m sure she could. I’m also sure she’s already wiped the CCTV footage. She’s here to explain how the fairy tale came to life and found it’s way into my living room.” Adam fell silent and methodically began to clean the gun. Soft clicks and muttering followed his movements. “Do have a seat 007. She’s not going anywhere until she has my cooperation and isn’t so banged up. If you feel the need to make yourself useful, there’s tea in the cupboard. Two sugars please, thank you.” Adam flashed a distracted smile up at Bond, who with nothing better to do than babysit two toddlers, holstered his Beretta and stalked into the kitchen.

“You make tea, one time. While I’m doing this, somebody better talk.” Bond said, flinging the words over his shoulder. This set R off into another round of laughter.

“Once upon a time, in a land, far far away, there was a handsome geeky prince and a pretty, pretty warrior princess-”

“For Christ’s sake, R, be serious.” Adam said, pausing in his cleaning, “He didn’t actually mean tell him a fairy story!”

“The prince and princess were apprentices to a very powerful wizard, and like every good fairy story, this one has a wicked monster. With the wizard's instructions, they helped create it. They loved it and they fed it, until it became the most feared monster in the entire kingdom. It destroyed villages and made the townspeople’s lives miserable. This made the prince and princess very sad. So, rather than destroy this monster, the wizard promised that he would hide the monster away, and the prince and princess, fearing for it’s life and what it could do if it ever got out, agreed.”

“I still have your gun.” Adam waved it in the air, even though it was now in pieces.

R ignored Adam, “But someone, stole the monster, intent on making little monster babies and selling them to the highest bidder.” 

“The two of you are insane.” Bond said from the kitchen. “When you’re done cleaning her gun, clean her. Someone needs to look at that leg, something’s wrong with her shoulder and I wouldn’t doubt other injuries we can’t see.”

“R can clean herself.” Adam said. “She knows where the bathroom is, judging by the fact that she has my first aid kit out.”

Bond came back into the room, took the pieces of the gun out of Adam’s hands and dragged him up by the shoulder of the coat he was still wearing. “Go take care of your friend. Get her cleaned up and something to wear.”

“ME!?” Adam squawked.

“I like original Star Wars, not that new, trade embargo shit.” R called out as Adam’s eyes swung back to her.

“You’ll take what you get and be grateful.” Adam mumbled as he motioned at R to get up as well. “Come on you.”


	7. Reputations

The amount of bickering that Adam and R engaged in, after Bond’s instructions, nearly set the back of his teeth on edge and into attack mode. They either intensely hated each other, or loved each other, he couldn’t quite be sure. Somehow in between the insults and sexual innuendo insults, Adam managed to get R cleaned up and himself looking like a drowned cat, puffed up and damp. 

Bond smartly hid his lopsided grin behind his glass. He had helped himself to some of Adam’s oddly stocked mini bar hidden away in his kitchen cabinets. He’d never seen so many odds and ends of samples, juice box sized wine boxes and miniature champagne bottles in one place, outside a hotel mini-bar or the liquor store. They were all stuffed behind his seemingly innocent boxes of tea. R seemed to know Adam, or his flat well enough, that when she was done being fluffed, dried, clothed and bandaged up, went right for the cupboard that held the tea and pushed past them, grabbing a small box of wine and popping it open. She was now wearing a pair of Adam’s plaid pajama bottoms, rolled up and a black Star Wars t-shirt, proclaiming that ‘Han Shot First.’”

“You got a straw for this?” She dug around in Adam’s drawers until she found a handful of leftover straws. “AHAHA!! Now it’s a party.” 

Bond went to pluck the drink out of her hands, but she just slapped him away and wandered back into the living room, right to the spot that she had been sitting in when they found her. Dried blood and everything. She gave Bond a dirty look before opening up her laptop, making sure that it was in one piece and that he hadn’t messed too much with it. He only got to the lock screen and it would have taken him too long to figure out her passwords. He had set it aside to examine the outer casing. She traveled well, there were several stickers from various countries, they could have been gifts to her, but R seemed like the kind of girl that purchased her own worth, not depending on others to do it for her.

Adam was on his hands and knees, with a bucket of hot soapy water and a rag, trying to clean R’s blood off of his floor. “I don’t even know why I bother, there’s no way to hide this, not even with bleach. I’d have to cut out the wood, there’d be a patch, so that would be noticeable...at least I don’t have to hide a body...yet.” Adam said, glaring at R, she merely ignored him. 

“Like to see you do it by yourself. The last time-”

“R.” Adam said, he threw his rag at her, she caught it and flung it back at him.

“Ah-dumb.” R sneered at him, Adam moved to throw the rag at her again.

Bond had enough, he crossed the room and snatched the rag out of Adam’s fingers. Adam threw empty air at R, who just started cackling again. “Alright, alright. You’ve been cleaned up, provided a beverage-”

“I’m hungry.” R interrupted Bond and proceeded to ignore him and Adam as she became fixated on her laptop. “Do you have any food in your pantry that’s not expired or won’t fight back?”

Adam sat back on his heels, hands on his hips and stared at R, she had JUST cut off 007, he wasn’t quite sure when Bond would actually kill R, he glanced at Bond, his hand twitched, but he was still calm...looking. That seemed...hopeful.

“Feed me, and I’ll talk.”

“Christ.” Bond swore, he swallowed the rest of what was in his cup and pulled out his secure mobile, only to have it snatched out of his hands, by Adam. “I haven’t killed anyone today, don’t make me start on you.”

“It’s an MI6 issued mobile, isn’t it? You can’t use it, not here, not now.” Adam said, ignoring Bond and his exasperated look.

“Am I invisible? When did I become invisible? Look, hey what are you doing, stop that, you’ll have Q-branch on my arse again for destroying a perfectly good mobile.” Bond tried to retrieve it, but he was met by bony elbows and soft dark hair as Adam ducked away and around, prying the back off and doing something to the insides. He threw the battery to R, who tucked it down her shirt and crossed her arms. “For…”

“Here, use one of these.” 

Bond turned, just as he was striding across the floor to remove the battery from R’s person. “What?” Adam was dragging another box, a shoebox out from under his couch. “They’re burners, take one.” He flipped the lid open and thrust the whole thing at Bond, who was left to juggle it as Adam went back to cleaning the floor.

“I want Chinese, good Chinese, not that westernized crap.” R said, her arms still crossed across her chest, her face mulish.

“Well, I live to serve.” 

“Just tell them the building number, pick it up from street level and throw the mobile away, when you’re done.”

“I’m not a fetch and carry boy!” Bond exclaimed, exasperated to the Nth degree at the odd situation he found himself in, where no one seemed to fear him and everyone seemed to think him a chum, to put in the order and pick it up. “I’m a…” His voice caught at what he was. Murderer, Thief, Sailor, Spy?

Adam looked up, his damp curls in his eyes and frowned at Bond’s trailing words. “You are…” When Bond didn’t finish his sentence, he continued on, in his soft, fine voice. “Nobody said you were. Only you and I know R is here...hopefully.” He glanced over at R, who merely shrugged. “This will keep someone from seeing her here. You’ll be keeping them alive, something to perhaps balance your equation, and if you go wait downstairs, it’ll give you a chance to do some low key surveillance. Surely, I don’t need to tell you how to spy.”

Bond glared at Adam, the young man’s eyes laughed up at him from behind his spectacles. “For the love of...fine. Fine. I’m calling for food, no, don’t tell me what you want. You’ll eat what you get and you’ll deal with it. I’ll spy, as you call it and then you’ll talk.”

“Deal. Don’t steal my fortune cookie.” R uncrossed her arms and let the battery to Bond’s mobile slip down her shirt and into her hands. She wiggled her fingers at Adam, motioning for the mobile, but Bond snatched it from Adam’s grasp. 

“This, is still mine.” He waved it in the air and left, grumbling about herding cats and children.

“He seems like a nice fellow.” R smiled at Adam, a gleam in her eye as Bond slammed the door. “Handsome too, if you’re into that.”

Adam let out a long, drawn out sigh of the worn out. “He’s a very scary fellow, so be a bit nicer.”

“Mmmm no.”

On the sidewalk outside of Adam’s building, Bond glared at the crumbling brick, a spider ran away. He harrumphed at it, at least the spider had sense enough to run away from him. Those two, upstairs, better have answers for him by the time he got back. He walked a bit aways, adjusting his cuffs and making note of the various vehicles, windows and pedestrians on the street. Nothing stood out, he slowly walked back to his starting point. A car pulled up the curb. The speckle faced delivery boy jumped out, took one look at Bond’s unhappy face, and collected his tip as fast as he could, not checking to see how much it was. He folded himself back into the vehicle, peeling away from the curb, to his next stop. 

Bond returned from his journey to collect the food delivery and ‘spy’. R was still in her corner of the room against Adam’s wall, he dumped a container of food into her waiting hands and sat next to Adam on the couch, there was no other option and he didn’t want to disturb his knees by sitting on the floor. He wanted to preserve whatever dignity he had left. R made a grabby hand in the air, he tossed a fortune cookie to her and she tossed him his battery. Once she had been fed, her fortune read, Bond snapped his mobile back together and pushed for an explanation. He struggled to keep his jaw from detaching from his skull, the longer they spoke, it was hard to believe what he was hearing. Even Adam was struggling with the revelation of R.

“We need to stop this from getting out.” Bond said, glaring at R and the small device swinging from her hand.

“How? It’s probably already being hunted and it’s partially out, we should celebrate that, not stuff it back into the closet.” R chuckled gleefully.

“007, could you…” Adam’s voice trailed quietly off as Bond turned to him, his eyes icy with determination.

“I work for Queen and country, not you. We have to go to M.” 

R clutched her fist around the small usb drive she had been playing with. “If this goes to your precious M, I go to prison and if you think I’ll talk in there, think again. I’ll also probably die, once people figure out where you put me.”

“I could make it so no one ever found you.” Bond growled threateningly.

“Dipshit. Then you’ll never figure out who was behind the theft and where’d they get it from.” 

Adam tsked in exasperation. “If we don’t go to M, we all go to prison! You’ve put us in THAT situation! I have a loyalty, a promise, I have to uphold my end of the bargain I entered into. Please R!

R’s lip curled to one side and jammed her closed fist into the neck of her borrowed shirt, hiding the drive once more. “Where’s the old Hazard?”

“That life is no more, it doesn’t exist, I’m alone now. Hazard’s buried, gone and buried!” 

“Like you tried to do to me.” R crossed her arms over her chest, gazing placidly at Adam, watching his movements.

Adam stood up from the couch, and blurted out, “I didn’t do anything to you!”

Bond slowly stood, not sure if he would be needed to interfere. Somewhere in between the Chinese food delivery and R and Adam’s extraordinary story about world ending worms, Adam had put R’s Jericho back together. He glanced at it once, marking it’s location.

“You left me.” R said, thumping her fist against her chest, “You left me!”

“You left yourself! You could have gotten out, but you didn’t, so now here we are!” Adam yelled, his pale face flushing with anger.

“Yeah, well if I hadn’t, you wouldn’t know what you know now!”

“Hey…” Bond said softly into the arguing.

But Adam ignored him, he took a step towards R. “You stayed in an unsafe environment, because you were afraid of getting caught by the authorities, and now you’ve stolen from another unsafe criminal organization and you’re surprised by being alone and on the run!? You could have come with me to MI6 when I told you I was leaving!”

“You didn’t go willingly to MI6! You were caught and taken by MI6, you tosser!” R leaned away from the wall, ignoring her bad shoulder, she shifted into a crouch. “There’s a difference, a distinct difference!”

Bond wasn’t sure if she would go immediately for Adam’s throat or her gun. “Hey…”

But, they ignored him once more.

“And now, you want me and 007 to bail you out, at the risk of our lives, without notifying MI6! There are moral and legal rules that we have to abide by R, you know that!”

Bonds voice came out with just a tinge more irritation. “HEY!” He bellowed into the fray.

“WHAT!?” Adam and R both yelled, turning their focus on him.

“As much as I love fighting the powers that be, I feel it best to advise that the theft is brought before M, now. Get some protection.”

R shook her head. “We don’t have time.”

“Stop saying WE.” Adam snarled at her.

“Make the bloody time!” Bond barked, his voice low and harsh against their high pitched young voices. His patience wearing thin.

“We do it my way, or no way, do you understand me?” R explained, biting off each word, as if Bond were a simpleton.

This time, it was Adam shaking his head at R. “007 isn’t someone you can order around R. He’s not. I don’t suggest it.”

R opened her mouth to argue back, but she was interrupted by two things. Bond’s MI6 mobile ringing and Adam’s mobile pinging an alarm.

“What’s that?” R asked, her body tensing to escape.

Bond looked at the number and frowned. “Work. Tanner, I need to take this.” He pressed the button to accept the call and turned, mumbling into the receiver. He drifted off into the kitchen. R’s sharp eyes following him, before she refocused on Adam.

“Adam? Yours?”

“Work alarm. If I don’t leave in 15 minutes, I’ll be late.”

“Demerits?”

“Worse.”

“50 points from Ravenclaw!”

“Yeah, well 100 points from Slytherin for being an idiot.” Adam stuck his tongue out at R. He was tired, with a long shift ahead of him, he had no idea what to do with R now. Double damn.

“Hey, that’s all Slytherin is known for, making bad shit happen and hoping it works out! What house is he in? Did you sort him yet? I’d say Slytherin, but he could be Gryffindor.”

“Shut up, he’ll hear you. But yeah, I agree, Gryffindor.”

Bond came striding back from where he had wandered off to in Adam’s kitchen. “I have to go, so do you. Tanner wanted to send a car, I told him best not to.” Adam nodded in response and R sagged back against her wall.

Bond jerked his head in R’s direction, “What do we do with her?”

“Leave her, she can take care of herself. Maybe someone will come by and finish the job and then kill themselves trying to take what she stole.”

“Ha ha hardee har har. Tosser.” R stuck her tongue out at Adam. He simply ignored her and flew about the flat, trying to freshen up and make sure he had everything.

“I have an idea.” Bond said. He sauntered over to R, kneeling down, he smiled kindly at her, she bared her teeth. He supposed it could be considered a smile, if he didn’t know better. He took his watch off his wrist.

“007, what are you doing?” Adam asked, pausing in the hallway to his living room.

“A gift.” Bond wrestled with R, until he got her bad arm free, he had to dig a knee just below her sternum to get her to comply, putting pressure on her ribs. 

“Ow, fuck you.” R pushed ineffectually at the hulking agent. 

He ignored her and shoved the watch over her hand and down her wrist. He tapped a button, the strap retracted, shaping itself to R’s smaller wrist, the face huge against her bones. He spun the dial on the face, in a pattern that R couldn’t quite make out. A red blinking light appeared.

“What did you do?” R said, her voice rising in panic, she started to claw at the watch. “What is this.”

“007?” Adam rushed up to look over Bond’s shoulder. “007, you didn’t arm that, did you!? She’s harmless, really, 007, no!” Adam reached over Bond’s shoulder to try and disarm the watch, but he was halted by Bond’s steady grip on his hand.

Bond sighed at the panicked look on R’s face and her struggle against him, he looked over his shoulder and saw the same look on Adam’s face. Both pale and tense. “It’s just the tracking mode. Well, at least I know what the two of you think of me.”

“It’s hard not to,” Adam said quietly. “You do have a reputation, so to speak.”

Bond eyed the slightly smaller man, swaddled in his god awful coat again. He looked to R, a pixie of a girl, with bright orange hair, equally swaddled and swallowed in Adam’s spare clothes. “I would never hurt a friend of yours, intentionally. Especially ones that remind you of me...except with orange hair.”

“Yes, but you do enjoy a good explosion.”

“That’s reassuring.” R hissed at Bond, she kicked out with her good leg and caught a piece of his shin. He jumped back and spun on his heel, gesturing to Adam to follow. Adam glanced apologetically at R.

“Keep it on,” he mouthed at her, he pointed to his eye and back to her. She nodded once, tapped her own eye and stopped fiddling with the wristband.


	8. A Worm of Worms

Bond’s profile in the cab window, was a smudge against Adam’s sharp and steady reflection. Adam made not one movement, not one, that would draw attention to himself, he stared out of the shared cab as hard as he could, ignoring everything else. To say the ride back to MI6 was tense, would have been to state the obvious, something Bond was familiar with not stating, until he had chewed on all the details and then spit it out, but he could think of no other way to describe it. Tense, quiet, nothing but the sound of the tires and the dry tones of talk radio playing from the speakers. Even the driver felt it, he glanced up into the rearview mirror more than once, his eyes shifting from Bond to Adam and back to the street. If body language could talk, it would have yelled to the driver WE DO NOT WANT TO BE IN THE SAME CAR TOGETHER RIGHT NOW. Instead, the driver rode out the awkwardness by turning Radio 4 up.

Adam’s body remained rigid, his elbow on the armrest of the door, his narrow chin resting in his equally narrow hand. That hand, along with it’s brother, that had helped shape the monster Bond’s gut told him he now needed to hunt. The same hands that had remained steady, while Bond had tried to be intimidating in Q-branch, had playfully removed a weapon from his hands and had even threatened a girl, right in front of him. The same hands that cut through the air when their owner talked, that he had seen wrap around cheap takeaway cups at work, countless times, without ever noticing that they were being watched. Well, now they were. Those hands were deadly, and now he’d finally seen the depth of what they could do. MI6 chose it’s weapons well.

Bond’s own, outwardly scarred, blunt hands filled with the lives of countless unknown souls, tugged at the cuffs of his jacket. Hands are a funny thing, you can tell a lot by the shoes a man wears, but the hands, how deceiving they could be. He spoke into the silence. “You trust her.” It wasn’t a question, merely a statement of fact, he had seen how they had interacted. Nobody bickered so openly, threatened a ‘stranger’ and left them in their flat alone with their cat, without trust.

Adam maintained his position, closing his eyes against the question. His answer was quiet and firm. “Yes. With my life.”

Bond leaned back in the cab, adjusting his tie and shifted, taking up most of the back seat. Adam would have to move out of the way, or hold his own ground. Adam didn’t give any ground. Bond smiled at the choice. “You have an odd sense of trust,” he murmured quietly.

“Don’t I?” Adam looked pointedly at Bond, blue met green, an eye for an eye, neither breaking. “I have nothing to prove to you. Nor am I answerable to you, no more than you are to me. When we get to work, I’ll go my way and you’ll go yours.

Bond heaved a sigh through his nose, and nearly rolled his eyes out of his skull. Who cares how old he was, sometimes a good eye roll was still required. “You lay all this on me....”

Light reflected off of Adam’s spectacles as his head snapped around. “I didn’t force you to stay and I don’t exactly recall inviting you up to my flat in the first place.”

Bond smiled at the end of Adam’s words, it was full of teeth and empty of promises. The cab driver's shoulders jammed themselves up to his ears as he diligently tried not to listen...or intervene.

“No, don’t.” Adam shook his head at Bond and then those hands came alive and one set a delicate finger to waving. “Don’t do that. Up until that smile, I trusted you. You’re now back to step one.”

“And what’s step one?” Bond drawled the question out.

“The beginning.”

“If all it takes is a cup of coffee to get into your flat, well then, I’d say you’re an easy beginning.”

Bond heard the sound of Adam sucking in a breath as his barb drove home. His eyes flicked up to see the younger man calmly let it out, as if he’d taken a beating before and knew how to control his reactions.

Adam’s eyes rose steadily to meet his. In his soft, delicately posh voice, he replied. “Then the same principle could be applied to you, the one who easily invited himself up?”

Bond sneered, “and this is why-”

“A vampire/human relationship, much less a friendship wouldn’t work. No thank you, Mr. Bond.” Adam turned to look out his window, leaving Bond in a pocket of warm silence, ignoring him once more.

Bond withdrew to his side of the car, glaring out the window, his teeth grinding against each other.

Oh how he wished he hadn’t followed his gut instinct that led him to Adam’s seemingly innocent flat. His own words echoed in his head.

 

* * *

 

_“What,” he said, “is Centrifuge.”_

_Adam and R glanced at each other and before they could speak, Bond spoke into their silence. “Don’t lie to me and don’t leave anything out, I’ll know.”_

_“How computer literate are you?” R asked him, her head tilted to the side, assessing him._

_“My last laptop is still functioning, contrary to what Q-branch believes.” Bond said, a little smirk played around his lips and eyes as he glanced once at Adam, who was frowning._

_“You listed that piece of equipment lost beyond retrieval. Something about being shot at.”_

_Bond’s chuckle filled the air, warm with conspiracy. “Well, I did get shot at.”_

_“Ooooh I like him, can we keep him?” R wiggled further into Adam’s wall._

_Adam didn’t look up from fiddling with his fortune paper. “No.”_

_“Spoilsport.” R waved her chopsticks in the air and continued on with her explanation. “Okay, so, Centrifuge, is a worm. It’s like the Stuxnet virus, but more powerful.”_

_Bond considered her words, “Stuxnet just came out. How long has Centrifuge been out?”_

_“Never, until now.” R smiled._

_“It’s older and more powerful, and more than just a worm, as R said.”_

_“A worm of worms. An ancient worm within a worm. Are you familiar with Dune?”_

_Bond whistled, “It takes ages to make something like that, you two couldn’t possibly have had anything to do with it.”_

_“A sci-fi nerd in disguise as a spy.” R waved her chopsticks in between Adam and Bond. “How old does he think you are? It's totally legal to shag him, FYI. Look, Agent Handsome Face with Brain, what do you think 14 year old hacker wannabe’s do in their spare time? Play with other children?”_

_Adam sighed, his shoulders drooped. “It’s what we were paid to do. Find system's weaknesses and exploit them”_

_Bonds brow furrowed. “I can understand that.”_

_R drawled out her sentence. “I’m sure. Anyways, Stux requires Windows and other, parameters to work in a single computer operated industrial system. It’ll even lie dormant, until those specific parameters are all met.”_

_“A single system.” Bond said. “One, this does more?”_

_“You just get smarter as you go, don’t you.”_

_Adam interrupted, he turned to Bond. “Correct. Stux works for one system, one system specifically and one system only. Centrifuge, was theoretically designed to work in any system.”_

_“Theoretical my ass.” R whispered, chewing on the ends of her chopsticks._

_“Theoretically, any. It doesn't need to wait for a set of parameters in one industrial system. It’s got a massive library. You just upload it...”_

_“And wait.” R clicked her teeth together. “Snickety snack, we’ve laid the trap.”_

_“What's the country of origin?” Bond asked, he’d have to know where to start looking._

_“Country?” R shook her head. “You don’t understand, none of them have it, or none of them should have it.”_

_Adam tried to explain further, “Bond, this wasn't compiled by a foreign government….”_

_R broke the bad news gleefully to Bond. “It was piled, filed and paid for by an independent terrorist group. People were asked to find weaknesses, backdoors, mistakes from anything that was controlled by a computer system, from the process of making I.D. badges to…”_

_“Reading those I.D. badges.” Adam said glumly._

_With pride in her voice, R finished for him. “In any institution, private or otherwise. Financial, weapons facilities, makers of weapons facilities...satellites, makers of satellites...you know, everything a budding terrorist needs to take over the world. Some of us are better at it than others. Adam used to make grown men cry.”_

_Bond’s eyebrows flew up as he considered Adam. “You gave them MI6.”_

_Adam looked guilty and mumbled his answer. “Among, other things….”_

_R stuck the end of her chopsticks in her mouth, they hung out like walrus tusks. “I gave them MI5.”_

_“Don't be proud of that.” Adam said, trying to glare R into submission, but she wasn’t having it._

_Bond ‘s eyes narrowed on him, his fingers twitched. How dangerous was this lab rat? It would be a simple thing, to end these two menaces._

_Adam’s shoulders drooped even further. “I shouldn’t be telling you this, no one other than M and Tanner know. Q is completely in the blind, M didn’t want him always watching me. M’s scary enough.” A brief smile flashed over Adam’s face. “I only did a little bit of coding for it. MI6 knows what I did. Once I figured out the big picture, I left.”_

_R’s walrus tusks clacked against each other and she slurred her next words. “That was a mith-ake.”_

_Adam threw himself back on his couch and rubbed his hands into his eyes. “I know. MI6 began to hunt them down, or tried to. I gave them whatever information I had, even to the point of holding their hand and walking them through tracking programs, but.…”_

_“That was a mith-ake.”_

_“Shut it, R.”_

_Something clicked in Bond’s memory. “They knew. They hunted MI6 back. I remember that, I was...otherwise occupied, but we lost a few agents, some were traded, some we never recovered. Don’t let 006 or 004 know.”_

_Adam winced._

_“Alec still has the scars. 004....” Bond’s voice trailed off in memory. He gave Adam a speaking look._

_“Would a th-panking be involved?”_

_Bond and Adam looked at R_

_“What? I’m pretty th-ure Adam-urk!”_

_Bond looked on with amusement as Adam threw a burner phone at R, hitting her bad shoulder._

_“With MI6’s assistance, I hid all trace of myself, a new identity, a new chance. But R, didn’t do that.”_

_“Becau-th, R ith R and doethn’t alwayth lith-en. I thayed becau-th I figurth-ed it out too, BEFORE Hath-ard did.” R jerked her thumb at Adam._

_“Hath-ard?”_

_R laughed, and removed her chopsticks. “Uh huh, ask him about it sometime. Anyways, rather than run home to my Mummy, I stayed. And now have pieces of it stored in here, same as him.” R tapped her head, “and in here. She pointed at her necklace, it’s chain peeking above the collar of her borrowed shirt, “but that’s all I was able salvage.”_

_“Steal.”_

_“Whatever, Adam. The point is that I saved the world, by stealing it, you’re welcome.”_

_Bond’s head swung between the two of them, his skin crawling at what he was surrounded by. “You stole…”_

_“From the thief.”_

_“And now the hunter, will become the hunted.” Bond slowly stood up from the sofa and began pacing. Adam looked miserable, hunched over himself on the couch, his fingers alternated between twisting his fortune and his hair. In the end, Adam forgot what he was doing and ended up twisting his fortune into his hair._

 

* * *

 

Now Adam’s future was twisted within Bond's hands. It was a strange grim pair that climbed out of a black cab in front of MI6. Adam pulled out his wallet, in an attempt to pay the cab, but Bond had beaten him with his MI6 plastic. A wry twist of his mouth flashed towards the young tech.

“Official business after all.”

Adam’s fingers clenched around his wallet, his drumming fingers the only thing giving away his irritation. He spun around on his heel and paid no more attention to the silent, hulking...maybe sulking agent at his back. He should have been wary, Bond thought. He wasn’t sure if Adam would be his next target.

“Hey!”

Bond turned at the call, one of the other midnight techs from Q-branch was bent over his bike, chain in hand, he waved with the lock. Bond raised his own hand in salute. Adam waved sloppily and walked away from Bond. How easy it is that people could do that. Walk away. And so should he, walk away, inform M and be done with it. Halfway to the main doors of MI6, he glanced once over his shoulder and met Adam’s grim, determined visage. There was no plea for mercy in them, just an understanding.

The tech, next to Adam, chattered on, until he sensed his coworker’s preoccupation, brown eyes went from one to the other and there was a hitch in his step, as if he was uncertain if he was interrupting or unwanted in the moment. He murmured something to Adam, who only shook his head and made a small slicing motion with his hand. The tech inhaled and shrugged, the two of them passed by, both pairs watching him as he watched their backs retreat into the relative safety of the glass and brick of MI6.


	9. Preparation

“I’ll walk with you.”

Four words. Four simple words that fell out of Bond’s mouth and into Adam’s ears, pressing against him, like the crushing feel that came from being startled by a great white shark, and not being able to shoot immediately to the surface to escape, because the risk of escaping that fast would mean your death. Could four words kill a man? They echoed through his mind, like the alarm on a dive watch. Ping, ping, ping, ping, ping, ping! _I’ll walk with you I’ll walk with you I’ll walk with you I’ll walk with you._

Davis beat him to answering Bond with a very friendly response. “Sure!”

Adam glared at his boffin mate.

Davis just shrugged wide eyed at him and stage whispered out of the corner of his mouth. “What? You want I should tell him no? How do you tell a double-oh no?”

“Simple,” Bond said. “You say no.”

“Oh.” Davis’s mouth rounded slowly as the word formed on his lips. He looked quickly to Adam, probably hoping for some guidance from him about weird double-oh humor etiquette, until he finally noticed the strange way Adam was holding himself away from Bond. He gave up and resorted back to his own instincts. “Yeah, I’m sorry, I have to say that I don’t buy that.”

“He’ll do as he likes.” Adam said, he pushed on, ignoring both Bond and Davis as he plowed through the doors to MI6, through security, impatient with bag and I.D. check before they were tapping their way across the marble floor to the lifts. Adam angrily punched the floor for Q branch, before retreating to the far corner and glaring at Bond again, when he didn’t push the button for M’s floor. Davis made a half-hearted attempt to escape the lift before the doors closed, but the doors shut and his attempt at escape was thwarted. He scooted over to Adam’s side of the elevator perhaps with the thought that two against one were better odds.

“Aren’t you expected upstairs?” Adam asked into the silence of the elevator.

Bond smiled that mirthless grin, that held no joy, only ice. “I’ll do as I like.”

At Bond’s statement, Adam lost his anger and instead, just dropped his shoulders and sighed with more exasperation at the man standing next to him, lounging against the back of the elevator. He looked like he had not a care in the world, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. A wisp of a smile danced around Adam’s lips as he reached a hand out and flicked at the lapel to Bond’s suit.

Davis coughed into the air, drawing their attention to him. “Sorry...allergies?”

Adam shifted to stand upright, away from the walls and stood soldier straight, adjusting his laptop bag.

Their ride down to Q-branch was punctuated by awkward silences, stilted conversation, other stops and riders who would either greet or ignore Bond entirely and not pay any attention to the other two young men. Adam was glad for the lack of recognition and Davis’s company. After an interminable amount of time in the lift, when time really was relative and lengthening as they stayed on it, finally pinged for their floor.

Adam pretty much threw himself out of the shiny, metallic, confining walls of the lift and into the welcoming jaws of Q-branch. One was way better than the other, he let out a sigh, relieved as he was to find some sort of salvation. Davis followed.

“Whew. That was awkward wasn’t it,” Davis said as the lift doors closed behind him.

“I thought it was quite pleasant.”

Davis’s eyes widened to saucers. “He’s right behind me isn’t he?”

Adam glanced over his shoulder and saw Bond smiling down at Davis.

“Yes, he is.” Bond said, sounding smug and gleeful. He passed by Davis and snagged Adam by his elbow, steering him away.

“Um okay.” Davis said into the now empty air in front of him. His words trailed after the pair.

“Let go of my arm Bond, now.” Adam said, tugging on his elbow.

“Or what, you’ll break it?” Bond hissed into his ear.

Adam ceased trying to extricate himself from Bond and came to an abrupt stop. He met Bond’s eyes dead on, and with a smile on his face, said in his softest, most pleasant voice. “No, but after this, I’ll empty your bank account, delete your identity, lock you out of MI6 and make it so you don’t exist anywhere ever again. You’ll never be able to hold a job, buy a car, a house or do anything else you might enjoy, and if you think there’s anyone else in this department that can help you, after I’ve broken your life, think again.” The pressure increased on Adam’s arm at his words, Bond’s thumb dug into a point above his elbow. He wasn’t given a chance to respond. “Or…”

“There’s an or?” Bond asked.

“Or, I’ll not do any of what I said and I’ll just fix the database to permanently and mysteriously require that all of your mission kits contain nothing but cheap duct tape and shoe phones forever.”

This surprised another odd bark of laughter out of Bond and he let go of Adam’s arm. Adam grinned wryly up at him, until Bond leaned in and whispered into his ear.

“I’ll pick you up after work, dear.”

At that, Adam’s eyebrows did wing up into his fringe, before sinking back down into thought. “What for...oh. Well, I suppose that was inevitable, wasn’t it.”

“Quite.”

In his most patient, quiet voice, that carried a line of steel in it, Adam said simply, “I’m not a target Bond.”

“Maybe not right now, but you will be.” Bond whispered.

“Goodbye, 007.” Adam said louder than necessary. He compressed his lips into an unfriendly flat line, a heart that had stopped, perhaps never to start again.

“Adam.” Bond gave a final nod to him and walked back to the entrance of Q-branch, he glanced briefly at Mary and Davis, before marching briskly past them to exit.

Mary and Davis both made fast moves towards Adam, he could see their eyes and mouths opening and shutting with questions piled silently behind them. He merely shrugged and ran away, to his workstation, to boot up and get the handover briefing before Old Q came wandering through wondering what the devil was taking so long to do the midnight switch. Mary and Davis became busy with their own changeover, but it didn’t take them long to gravitate back towards Adam, who was doing his best duck, duck, weave to lose them.

Mary tapped his shoulder. “So.”

Head down, Adam continued to pretend he was absorbed in the changeover. Unfortunately, Mary chose not to take the hint.

“Sooooo, you and 007.”

The daytime tech handling the changeover widened his own eyes and looked between the two and rolled his chair back. “Um, you’ve got this right?” He lunged out of the chair, ducking down below Mary and Adam’s eyesight.

“What about 007?” Adam asked calmly. “Where’s my stapler? Tsk. I hate it when people take things and don’t put them back. It had my name on it, and it was red.”

“Which reminds me…” Davis began, he clasped his hands behind his back and leaned in conspiratorially to Mary. “007 rarely brings things back.”

“Indeed.” Mary agreed quickly.

Adam rolled his eyes at the awkward change of conversation course.

“But he brought you back, or should I say brought you back here, to Q-branch. That is something to celebrate!”

“I am not a piece of equipment, handed out for agents leisure.” Adam dryly, he looked up in time to catch Davis’s eyebrows dancing across his forehead. “Are you having a seizure?”

“Me? What? No. Ugh, come on Adam, you got out of a cab with 007!!! Were you on a date?” Davis practically yelled it into the quiet depths of Q-branch. Nearly every tech remaining from the day shift lifted their heads from their stations. Adam could hear agents calling into the silence from where they were being ignored. Davis, Mary and Adam glanced quickly around as they were the center of attention due to Davis. “Um.”

“What’s this? What’s this?” Q came storming through the middle of the branch. “Has some world ending catastrophe happened? Why have you all stopped working? And you three, why are you yelling? This is a place for calm heads and hearts, none of this explosive gallivanting about. We have active agents in the field that do not need encouragement to get excited and blow things up!” Q glared around until the techs that had been handling agents scrambled back to their tasks. The other techs pretended they had things to do, but still kept their eyes and ears on the trio huddled near Adam’s workstation.

“Shut it.” Adam said out of the corner of his mouth, trying to look busy enough not to attract Q’s attention. Q who finally moved off to his office, glaring as he went.

“It’s true!” Mary whispered excitedly. She gave a little hop, her skirt fluttered around her knees.

“No!”

“Come on, petit chat grincheux, you can tell us. He let you touch his suit without breaking your fingers! Mary, he touched, his suit! Right here!” Davis pointed right over his heart.

Mary gasped in awe, she clutched her hands in front of her chest and collapsed into Adam’s chair. “What! You touched him and lived? You touched his suit! Tell me what he felt like, what does a thousand pounds of silk feel like, I must know. I need to dream tonight and they need to be good ones. Expensive silk clad ones. Continue.”

“Ew, Mary stop.” Davis groaned, “I’m sorry I asked. Stop that!” He swatted at Mary as she pretended to swoon over the armrests.

“Oh 007, save me!” Mary said in a high pitched voice and clapped her hands to her chest.

Adam let out an exasperated sigh at his boffin-mates and lied. “Unbelieveable. You share ONE, ONE cab ride with a notorious lothario, because he took pity on you for walking from the tube station and you become a sudden couple. Shame. Shame on you. You’ll ruin his reputation.” A grin curled the edge of his mouth as he too swatted at Mary. “Up you, that’s my chair. I have it set just how I want it.”

“Stop dawdling and dithering about with office gossip. You have mission specs to fill!”

“Aaah!” All three of them jumped and yelled, as Q popped up from over Davis’s shoulder. Mary almost fell out of the chair, but a quick reactive kick from Adam, caught her on his shin. He promptly dropped her on the floor afterwards.

“You silly widgets. The old man still has it, come on, come on. 007’s kit won’t fill itself, and the laptop won’t just magically tell us it’s secrets. Let’s go, and none of that cheap duct tape nonsense, do you hear me? He gets what’s in his file and that’s it. I’m tired of wasting money on sending him out with extra goodies and not seeing them come back, you hear me.” Q shook his finger at the three of them, leaving them gaping like a school of fish in his wake.

“Laptop?” Davis and Adam asked at the same time, they made to move in the direction Q was, until Mary dove for Adam’s workstation and woke up his computer.

“Hey!” Adam said. “You have your own. Shove off, go find your own corner of the world to terrorize!”

“Shh. I didn’t see anything for 007 yet.”

“Does it matter?” Davis asked. “It’s 007, do we care. Oh wait, yeah we do. He’s our boyfriend now.”

Adam made a strangling noise in the back of his throat. “I’m not sharing…” His voice trailed off as two sets of eyes stared him down. “You know, I mean...just...care less about 007, okay.” Adam grumbled, he pushed Mary with his hip, she was bent over at the waist, going through the files. “Mary, let’s go. We have mission specs to fill and probably not just 007’s.”

Davis shoved past Adam to wedge his way next to Mary. She had 007’s open now. He let out a whistle. “He’s being kept on a short leash.”

“What do you mean?” Adam asked, trying to see his monopolized screen.

“It’s local. English soil.”

“That would be MI5, not Six, right?” Adam wondered out loud. “Mary, move. Davis, go...pretend to fix something one of the agents broke, move it!

“Wonder what’s going on?” Davis said softly. “You’re not wrong, local is MI5’s business.”

“Not our business.” Adam muttered.

Mary automatically spoke up. “The agents are our business.”

“Come on Mary, what’s in the kit?” Davis asked, he’d moved to the edge of Adam’s workstation but stayed close.

Mary’s head see-sawed left and right. “Standard issue weapon, earpiece, oh...we need to add a micro recorder to his watch, select a tie pin camera. Like picking fashion choices for 007 is as simple as that…” Her voice trailed off.

“Surveillance items.” Adam said, “Standard, nothing remarkable.” He felt his shoulders tighten at the last of the items.

“Looks like 007 will be spying on someone or something.” Mary murmured.

“Hello? On English soil?” Davis asked. “Is he working with MI5?”

“Stop being dull, Davis. Surely this has happened before.” Adam said, he shoved again on Mary, but she wasn’t budging.

“Yes, especially if they’re needed for protective detail for M or some international event.” Mary said, she flipped through some more files. “Oh. Oh, I see.”

Davis made a face. “Oh God now what? Is it a fancy dress ball, do we have to make him a ball gown or something?”

Adam leaned over, curious now at Mary’s hesitancy and the items in the kit. He read out loud. “There was a murder last night, body identified as John Doe. Clothing, wallet, passport, jewelry, laptop bag and laptop beat to shit, released to MI6...hmmm, that’s interesting. A John Doe released to us, not MI5.” He was shoved to the side, into Mary as Davis got in on the action. He opened the photo attached to the file and the post-mortem photo of the body popped up on Adam’s monitor, he zoomed in on the face and began running a facial recognition.

Adam, stuck between Mary and Davis, twisted around to take control back. “Davis, stop. That’s not for us.”

“Nope make me.”

“Davis!” Adam hissed, he looked around, no one was paying them attention, but that didn’t mean Q wouldn’t sneak up on them at any time. His attention was drawn back at Davis’s next exclamation.

“Oooooh big name.” Davis sounded extremely gleeful. “Now I guess we know why this was given to MI6 and not Five.”

Mary and Adam looked at the screen. Adam’s eyes darted around. Fuck, he did recognize the name and person. He felt Mary stop squirming to get out from where she had been ignominiously shoved into the corner of his work station. “Mary?” He looked down at her, she was fixated on the monitor, her face gone white. “Mary?” Davis turned his head. She came back, in a flurry of movement and color.

“Sorry, sorry. Cadavers, have a tendency to make me go a bit green around the gills. We’re usually not required to see them, only pass on intel and make up the kits. Shut it down Davis, okay. Before Q comes back and find you using facial recognition on something that’s not our business or clearance.” Mary flicked the back of his head.

“Yeah, all right.” Davis closed the file and then the three of them were terrorized once more by Q leaning in and speaking.

“If you don’t get 007’s kit ready right this minute, I’ll find a lab in R&D that’s open and have the agents practice their draw and quarter skills, something they’ve gone a bit rusty on, DO YOU HEAR ME?”

“Aye Q!” The three of them chorused and then Mary and Davis practically ran, nearly falling, in their haste to get to their respective work stations.

Q was left with only Adam. The old man turned and looked Adam up and down once and said solemnly and oh so quietly. “Q-branch isn’t for the weak of mind or heart. We lose as many agents, as we do the equipment. It’s good to have a tad bit of fun, but this is serious business we conduct. Lives are in our little gadgety hands. Hearts that go tick-tock, just like the machinery we put together, and like that machinery, they can leak their life-blood out until there’s nothing left for us to repair. I hope you remember that.”

Adam gave a slow, single nod.

Q gave him a sly look. “I have something you might like to take a crack at. Come with me.”

Adam glanced back at his boffin-mates, scurrying about to put the pieces of Bond’s kit together before following swiftly after Q, to a battered laptop.


	10. Allies Within Lies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i forgot it was monday.

The same elevator that carried Bond to Q-branch, now transported him to M. Unavoidable. She would know he had been in the building and had made a detour. He strode through the busy hallway and through the secretary pool, some of the women and men smiling or scowling at him in equal measure. Those that knew him, smiled, he was friendly when he needed to be, demanding when the situation called for it and the few secretaries that he had worked with, had few complaints, other than his brusque manner and demanding nature. The ones that scowled at him, were those he found to be overtiring and more interested in a flirt and angling for a night out with a 00. He refused to work with those secretaries. This always amused M, and those secretaries often didn’t work on her floor, long once she noticed his avoidance. He smiled slowly to himself, he supposed the scowling was warranted then.

“Good morning, Glen.” Bond said, winking at the most senior of the secretaries, Glenys Smythe. Taller than him by a good four inches in flats, she always smelled of Chanel No. 5. Her iron grey hair neatly coiled in a bun, she was sharply dressed in a dark three piece suit, a mathematical print bow tie at her collar. A bit of whimsy, she had said. To keep up with the young folk. 

She rested a hand, soft with wrinkles on his shoulder, and bent down, to buss his cheek. “And a good morning to you too, sea pup.” She wiped her lipstick from his face with her thumb. “I should leave that, send it as a signal to others.”

He couldn’t help it, he laughed at her antics. “You know they’d never forgive you.”

Glenys smiled, her brown eyes twinkling at him from behind a nose that had been broken at the height of the Cold War, by a field agent with a different opinion on what a secretary’s position was. She had abused that agent of his silly notion, and had gained a souvenir, to commemorate ‘the best fight of my life, in or out of bed’ as she called it. 

“M’s in a bit of a stew love, you’ve taken your time getting here, haven’t you? Naughty boy.”

Bond laughed, catching the scowling secretaries attention.

“Don’t play with your food, Glen.” A smooth, accented baritone came rolling in from Bond’s other side. It was Douglas Morrison, a junior secretary, but one that Glenys had seen so much potential in and adopted as her second in command. He got along famously with Bond, and had the ability to drink him under the table. After that memorable night, some of it Bond has yet to recall, he had become a floor favorite of all the agents.

“Wouldn’t dream of it Douglas.” Janet slapped the rotund Scotsman on his shoulder.

“Heard you’re to be set out on another hunt soon.” Douglas said, “If you don’t mind me statin’ the obvious.”

“Possibly.”

“I’ve also heard you’ve been haunting the hallowed grounds of Q-branch. Do my pretty little lads and lasses no longer catch your fancy?” Glenys turned a gimlet eye onto her underlings, the scowling ones finding something that must be done right then and there, the smiling ones weren’t as easily intimidated. “No longer useful, are we? Q-branch does have the prettiest toys.”

“Now Glen, you know I wouldn’t have gotten as far as I have, without your floor’s assistance.”

She tweaked his nose. “Course you wouldn’t, we are the best spies within these halls.” 

His voice turned serious as he asked, “have you heard anything?”

Glenys looked once more over her underlings, they weren’t paying any attention to her, or so they looked. She turned and spoke to Douglas quietly. He tottered off to do whatever it was she asked in the middle of the floor, distracting the fleet of secretaries. She motioned Bond to walk with her towards M’s office. She leaned her head towards him, as she spoke. “I think you’re in for a treat with this one. M doesn’t want MI5 to have anything to do with it, but you didn’t hear that from me.”

“Of course not,” he murmured. “Why not MI5?”

“Even though it was done locally, it’s someone on our list.” Glen said. She leaned away at the arrival of M’s Chief of Staff, Bill Tanner.

Bond made a noise of non-commital as she withdrew.

“Ah, found him have you? Thank you Miss Smythe, that will be all. Come along Bond.” Tanner said brusquely. He held his arm out as he walked backwards to the antechamber that led to M. 

Bond politely took his leave of Glenys, promising drinks after work, if he got back safely. She threatened to bring Douglas to even out the field.

“Come along, Bond.” Tanner repeated himself absently, he was busy with mobile.

No longer able to stall, Bond turned and sauntered towards Tanner, who glanced briefly up from his handful of files.

“I’ll never understand why you walk that way around me. You know I’m married, and you’re not my type.” Tanner winked at Bond and tapped his elbow lightly.

Bond sighed at Tanner and jammed his hands in his pockets. “Now that’s the second person to say that to me today.”

“Probably won’t be the last. Come on old boy, M’s ready for you.”

“Brilliant.”

Tanner led the way and Bond found himself at parade rest, staring out at the multi-million dollar view of the London Skyline, currently encased in fog. M continued to write whatever it was she was writing on her blotter as she proceeded to ignore him. He’d made her wait for him, now it was her turn. Alpha vs. Alpha and he knew in the end she would win, she always did. She glanced up at him and took his measure in with one harsh flick of her eyes.

“Have a seat.” She pointed with her pen to one of the chairs opposite her.

“Thank you, don’t mind if I do.” Bond flicked his suit coat open and dropped into a chair.

M began, without any more preamble. “I have an assignment for you. Tanner?” She held her hand out imperiously, 

Tanner swooped in from the side and handed M a folder. She flicked through it once. There wasn’t a designation number, the window in the cover of the file was blank. She caught his glance. 

“Yes, I didn't officially assign this, but I’m doing so now. 007, we have intel about a local attack on a...gentleman of interest.” She held the file out towards Bond.

“Is this gentleman of interest still alive?” Bond asked pausing before he leaned forward to take hold of the dossier. He opened it to study the first page.

“No.”

Bond went fishing, that’s what men of the sea do. “Local event. Then that’s something for MI5, isn’t it. Not an international event, not our jurisdiction.”

“I’m sorry that I don’t have any poker games or foreign embassies for you to blow up today.” M said, her tone even, but the level of sarcasm in her voice was an 11 out of 10.

“There’s always tomorrow.” Bond said, flashing M a small smile.

M ignored his smile, she tapped her pen on her desk. “This would be for MI5, if the gentleman in question, wasn’t a high profile international assassin/thief who’s been on our books for some time. Someone killed him and then stole from him. We want to know who and what they took.”

“Investigate?” Bond asked, his head tilted to the side.

M leaned back in her chair, her eyes on her agent. “Yes, 007, that’s what we pay you for. To survey, gather intelligence and kill or not kill if necessary. Remember, we’re trying to get you to work on bringing someone back in one piece.” She let this sentence hang in the air between them. “In order to interrogate them, before you kill them. Partial confessions on deathbeds don’t count.”

Bond opened his mouth to offer a rebuttal, but Tanner beat him to it.

“You do get us stuck between a rock and a hard place quite often. Something about coercion and not being able to find out more.”

Bond glared at Tanner, but it bounced harmlessly off of Tanner’s slightly balding head as he went back to looking through the paperwork in his hands.

“Quite right. We need more than what you normally bring us. He was active and now he’s not. I want you to find out why and if we need to hunt down the one responsible. Did we trade one assassin for another?” 

Bond glanced once more at the dossier in his hands. 

“Is there a problem, 007?” She asked, her tone smooth and even.

Damn, if his gut was right, this was probably who R had stolen from and then killed him. He couldn’t even begin to think of the ramifications of taking this job. If he took it, there was the possibility of leaving Adam and R alone, with just each other for protection. If he didn’t take the job, someone else might screw it up and find a link to R, leaving Adam vulnerable along with her. 

“007, did you hear me?” M asked him once more, her voice rising in the end. 

Bond rose from his chair and calmly replied to her. “Yes, ma’am.” 

“Report to Q branch, they’ll have your equipment and itinerary. I hear they haven’t quite put the travel pieces together, but as soon as they get them, you’ll be off, first thing.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He turned to leave, Tanner preceded him and held the door open for him. Just before Bond could make his exit gracefully, she had the last word.

“Oh, and 007?”

His back tightened in preparation, he only turned his head, waiting. She didn’t fail to deliver.

“Try and do this quietly, I’d hate to wake the neighbors.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He glanced once to Tanner, who only shrugged. 

He stalked back through the secretarial pool, all eyes on him as he ignored them to walk swiftly to the lifts. Glen cleared her throat, he glanced briefly at her, his own face tight as he went back to the one other person in the building who truly knew what was going on. Allies within lies. Great.


	11. Grand Plans

The doors to Q-branch slid open, allowing Bond access to the various delights and the possible subversive minion he was determined to visit. His path was interrupted as he was greeted by a peppy Q.

“007! Back already I see.” Q’s white eyebrows practically danced along his brow.

“Observant, as always, Q.” Bond said drily, but his eyes held a sparkle for his long time Quartermaster, a man full of surprises, despite his age and a sharp tongue.

Q slapped Bond on the back. “Cheeky bastard. I’d say to what do we owe this honor, but I know why you’re here.”

Bond gave a little sigh through his nose and fiddled with some sort of pen shaped prototype on a workstation. “What is this?” He held it up.

“That’s my lunch.” Q said swanning past him, his nose in the air.

“You do know that joke's getting old.” Bond set the object down, or so it looked, but instead, he pocketed it.

“About as old as you 007, shall we?” Q asked, smiling fondly at him.

Q held his arm out to guide 007 to where a few techs were crowded around a laptop, on the workstation down from what looked like Bond’s kit. They hadn’t noticed his or Q’s approach and were chatting in low tones. Bond recognized the three as Adam, of course, and Davis, along with Mary from the night before. They made an interesting trio. Bond was going to have to have a subtle word with Q. Davis was animatedly offering his opinion as they got closer, they cold hear.

“Nice to see someone with his reputation taken down. I would kill to crack into the CCTV and see who did it.” Davis said, practically drooling.

“That’s all been erased, you know that.” Adam replied in his soft voice, body relaxed and hands in his pockets.

Mary whispered, her voice tight as she leaned over to whisper to Adam. “Don’t you want to know? Who did the killing and the erasing and why? Where are they now?”

“I believe, that will be for me to find out.” Bond said into the space following Mary’s question.

The small group of techs jumped, as the sound of Bond’s soft, dry tone came out of nowhere. Mary scooted behind Adam, allowing Bond to approach the laptop they had been surrounding.

“Since we’re in a gossiping mood, do any of you care to brief 007 on what we’ve discovered?” Q asked.

The technicians blinked and looked at each other, waiting to see who would be brave or foolish enough to offer intel. Frogs in a pond, Bond thought. Frogs in a pond. Q heaved his own sigh at the lack of spine in his staff, until one brave soul cleared their throat.

“He was carrying something of importance on his laptop.” Adam said, he pushed his glasses up his nose and his fringe out of his eyes.

“Fact or opinion?” Bond asked, his eyes hard and cold.

“Fact. Not only does the laptop have heavy duty encryption on it, something your standard businessman or uni student would have, save for those with a bit of an ego about them.” Adam gave a flash of a smile. “Most government workers wouldn’t even have this level on it. It’s unique. Created solely for this user, this machine. Even M’s laptop isn’t this well protected. If it could bite, it would.” Adam traced a finger along the edge of the keyboard.

Q cleared his throat.

“Moving on. It’s also got a secret compartment for a usb drive. You can’t physically access it unless you slide...this out.” Adam demonstrated it.

Bond leaned down and saw the small compartment hiding one USB port. It was scratched at the edges, as if someone had used a knife or screwdriver to pry it open. He looked up at Adam, who held his gaze. “And accessing it through the drive, once it’s in?”

“It’s on a parallel system. You’d find the main drive, it acts like a dummy drive, so to speak. Sure, you can play solitaire on it, type some documents, access a few photos and surf the internet. It looks harmless. You have to go through a backdoor to find the proper access. It’s complicated. Very complicated. If someone got hold of this while a drive was in there, they’d have a devil of a time getting past the first few levels of security into the main drive. If they didn’t know there was a hidden USB drive AND separate drive, they’d never think to look for it, much less find it.”

“But you found it.” Bond said.

Adam didn’t even shift his weight, he only nodded in affirmation. “I did.”

“And the USB?” Bond asked. “Where is that?”

“Smashed.” Davis said. “Pulverized to a billion little pieces. Irreparable. Even Adam couldn’t resuscitate it and he’s brilliant at that. Little guy took a ride in a blender, just about.”

Bond looked at Davis curiously.

“See!” Davis pulled a lidded tray from behind the laptop and pried the lid back to show Bond. In it were a billion pieces, the largest piece was part of the black casing. “It was found alongside the laptop. Like someone took a sledgehammer to it. More like a boot though.”

“How do you know it belonged to our friend?”

“We don’t.” Mary said. “It’s most likely, his fingerprints were on it, but even that could be planted.”

Bond took the tray and gave it a shake, to see the pieces better. “Origin?”

“Chinese.” Adam said, he smiled proudly at Bond’s question.

“Sold by?” Bond asked, continuing his train of thought.

Adam grimaced and pushed his glasses up. “Practically everyone. You could buy it in any of the local shops, or online. Probably half of MI6 owns one.” His hands tightened into fists.

“Hmmm, it would be difficult to arrest everyone working at MI6.” Bond raised an eyebrow at Adam, sending a silent message. Adam merely snorted at his meaning.

“It could have been stolen and used for this purpose, making it difficult to track down the user afterwards.” Mary replied. “If there was a theft, the thief could have left a dummy USB drive, planted our victims fingerprints on it, just so we would go around and around in circles. I’m afraid that’s all we can tell you about it.” She looked disappointed that Bond’s questions, while smart, hadn’t yielded any answers that would have helped him. “Help yourself, we’ve already gotten the prints off of it.”

Bond stared down at the broken pieces of the little drive. The size of a man’s thumb. His own traced the edges of the tray, the corner digging into his fingers.

“Watch out, it’s sharp.” Davis said helpfully.

Bond dragged his pointer finger through the debris, his mind thinking back to another drive, much the same size and just as dangerous.

_“Can you destroy it?” Bond asked, his body coiling, preparing for a fight. Something needed to be destroyed, but he didn’t have a target. His instincts searched for one._

_“The worm? Oh I can destroy what I have, no problem. However, it’s just a copy of a few of the files. This worm is huge and they didn’t have the whole of it. They did have enough of it though. Nasty piece of work.”_

_“We have to go to M and medical.” Bond poked at R’s leg, now covered by Adam’s plaid pajama bottoms._

_She hissed at him. “Sorry silly billy, I’m just the message bearer. I’m out._

_“I’d say you’ve got no choice.” Bond said._

_“Your precious government is at stake. You can’t go to MI6.”_

_“Why not?”_

_“Agent handsome face, asking the hard questions. Because, someone in MI6 has been leaking updated information, and I’m not talking about Adam. His help stopped the moment MI6 caught him, so stop glaring at him like that, dipshit. Get a brain to go with that face. Anyways, someone else from MI6 is giving you up. Think of what would happen if MI6 had this, how long do you think it’d be safe there. Because you know they wouldn’t destroy it. They’d play with it and then, how long do you think before your leak becomes active again and this lands in their hands?”_

_“I could take it from you.” Bond said, after waiting angrily through her speech._

_“I’d like to see you try.” R crossed her arms over her chest again and snapped her teeth at him._

_“007, this isn’t even all of it, remember. If you kill R, not that I would stop you-” Adam’s voice trailed off and he looked hopefully at Bond._

_“Fucker.” R made a rude gesture with her hands._

_“Nearsighted arsehole.” Adam hissed back, throwing R’s gesture back at her._

_“Stop it you two!”_

_Adam cleared his throat and brushed a hand through his curls. “If you take what she has, that only leaves you with pieces and then the problems.”_

_“I can put clues together.” Bond said dryly, his voice dripping with the effort he put into his career._

_“Well, Agent Fancy Pants, do you even know how to read code?” R asked, derision hanging off of her every word._

_Bond glared at R, long and hard._

_R rolled her eyes. “See, you wouldn’t even know what you’re looking at, or for. Hieroglyphics without the Rosetta Stone. You’d be blind, deaf and dumb, you technological dinosaur.”_

_“Look, I don’t have to put up with this.” Bond said, standing and towering above the two of them._

_“Ix-nay R, ix-nay.” Adam whispered out of the corner of his mouth, his eyes studying Bond’s movements._

_“I’m not his mission. I’m not even giving him a mission. This is between you and me.” R pounded her chest._

_Adam forgot about Bond and his threatening pose and let out an undignified squawk. “ME!?”_

_“Christ.” Bond hissed out, he spun on his heel, anything to get away from the madness of R._

_“Yes you. You understand this, I trust you, he trusts you. We’ll study it, see where the weaknesses are, patch them up and then destroy this.”_

_Adam drew in a deep breath, his slender frame expanding with it, before he bellowed out, “THAT’S YOUR GRAND PLAN!!”_

_Bond rolled his eyes at the loud tone. “Patch what...how...many lines of code are there?”_

_R and Adam answered him at the same time. “A lot.”_

_Adam continued. “And what’s in there is only partial? R that’ll take forever! Be realistic, we can’t break into every facility and repair what’s broken! We’d get caught. We can’t keep it, it’s not a pet!”_

_“You got anything better to do? You and hot pants over there gonna fuck it out while I try to save the world?” R moved her finger in and out of her loose fist, mimicking a sexual act. “Get a room at least.”_

_“That’s it. Shoot her.” Adam pointed at R._

_Bond withdrew his Beretta, causing Adam and R to look at him like he was the one who had grown two heads and had recited the entirety of Shakespeare’s folios from memory._

_“What? You said I couldn’t, because then this will be all we have, but if she plans on you helping her, then if I kill her, we still have what she stole and I have your help.”_

_R grinned, she grinned and laughed and laughed and laughed._

_“Funny, R, really funny.” Adam said, flopping back on the sofa._

_“What?” Bond asked, thoroughly not getting the joke._

_“You won’t be able to pull what’s on the R-drive out. With me or anyone else.” Adam sighed, staring up at the ceiling._

_“The R-drive?” Bond asked, he re-holstered his weapon._

_“Yeah, it’s a nasty piece of work, just like it’s owner.” Adam said, glaring at R._

_“Dick.”_

_“Arse.”_

_“Now we’re truly buggered.” R smiled sweetly at him._

_“Ew.”_

_Bond sighed again. “Unbelievable. Somebody explain.”_

_“Okay, buggering is the act of-oof!”_

_Adam threw a sofa cushion at R and caught her in the face. “He knows what it means you fucking loon!” Adam addressed Bond as R continued to giggle. “It’s a special drive, designed and built by R. You’re sure you don’t want to come work for MI6, R? They’d like that. Look at her necklace Bond, go ahead, look.”_

_“I won’t bite.” R said._

_Bond squatted down and pulled the chain of the necklace from around R’s neck._

_“Unless you ask.”_

_Bond ignored her and continued to study the necklace. Metal, he scratched at it with his nail, not soft. The color silver, but not quite dark enough for platinum. He glanced up at R, she was merely watching him with interest, seeing if he could figure it out._

_“Titanium.” He said. “Aircraft grade.”_

_She smiled, and fired two finger pistols at him. He got that correct. There was a usb fob hanging at the end. The odd lump under her t-shirt, the R drive. Before his fingers got to it, he was halted by R gently snagging the cuff of his shirt with her pointer finger and by Adam’s words._

_“I wouldn’t, if I were you.” Adam said._

_Bond paused, not moving on to handle the drive and looked curiously back at Adam._

_“It’s biometrically encoded. You’ll either get one hell of a shock, or injected by a paralytic, that if it didn’t kill you, would at least allow R the chance to escape...or kill you herself before she escapes, depending on the type she’s chosen. If you somehow managed to survive either and opened it…_

_“Boom.” R said, grinning. “I do so love to play with fire.”_

“Bond? Bond!” Q snapped at him.

“Hmmm?”

“Stop woolgathering and come over here and look at the intel we have for you.” Q shook his head and ambled off to another work station, pulling the images of the deceased assassin/thief up. He began to lecture at Bond.

Bond studied the intel Q provided him. The body. He halted Q’s lecture to study the photos. It was a clean mess, gun shot through and through. Taser marks along the chest. The tattoos, he made note of those, many of them secret messages as to what his professions were and that he was for hire. Assassin, thief. Assassin, thief. It was rare that the two and two went hand in hand.

“What did ballistics have to say? Was he killed by his own weapon?”

Q had remained quietly beside Bond as he looked his fill. “Davis?” Q asked, turning slightly. Davis popped up to stand next to Bond and switched the files over until the report came up.

“They dug some casings out of the wall behind him. They don’t match his. I don’t even think he had a chance. Taser dropped him first and he was shot after that.” Davis offered.

Bond sighed, R was right, she did steal...from a professional killer and thief. She got lucky with the taser and getting the drop on the guy or she would have ended up dead. She still might, if whoever he contracted with didn’t receive the requested item.

Mary broke into his thoughts. “He’s...he was often hired to do kill or steal. Mostly both jobs at the same time. Steal from and then get rid of the target. A neat package. In and out. There’s a lovely symmetry about it.”

“Well, whoever it was that hired him, is going to be pissed.” Davis said, hands on his hips. He was studying the information and pictures in front of him.

“I do hate it when a package goes missing.” Adam murmured quietly, studying along with Davis. He gave Bond a speaking glance that was ignored.

Bond could guess on his own, that whoever hired this guy would eventually be after what R now had, because she had stolen a powerful chunk of a worm from them. He went to glance at his watch and belatedly realized that he no longer had it. Q noticed.

“What’s this? What’s this? Where’s your watch 007?” Q leaned forward to peer at his naked wrist.

Bond shrugged and adjusted his cuffs down. It wouldn’t be the first or last time he failed to return equipment.

“Unbelievable.” Q said, his voice heavy with sarcasm. “Well, you’re lucky, we’ve made an updated version with a few extra tricks for your trip to Barcelona.”

“Barcelona?” Bond frowned at Q.

“Yes, 007. You’ll be going to Spain.” Q said happily. “I hear it’s lovely this time of year.”

“Spain?” Bond looked at the intel in front of him and then at the techs.

Adam shrugged. “It’s what we found.”

“You think I’ll find what I’m looking for in Spain?” Bond’s question was meant for Adam’s ears only, but Q overheard this last remark.

“No 007, we’re actually forcing you to finally get that holiday you so desperately need.”

Bond scowled at the old man.

Q tsked at him. “M wants you to find out who he was working with, or for. You’ll need to pretend you’re the assassin thief. Shouldn’t be hard. Aside from the intelligence community, no one really knows what he looks like. He’s a bit of a chameleon, uses fake noses and the like.  Old school style disguise work.  A man after my own heart!  We can provide prosthetic pieces, I look forward to seeing these in action.  Do be careful with them, 007.  They'll be just like he would have used I’m sure and no one will question it. Well, enjoy your trip 007. I’ll let Mary kit you out. I’m off.” Q patted Mary’s shoulder and walked briskly to his office.

Bond leaned quickly into Adam. “Where’s R?” He murmured softly. “Check the watch.”

Adam moved away to do as he was asked but not without narrowing his eyes with displeasure at Bonds order.

Bond waited. “Where’s my kit?” he asked Mary and Davis to distract them.

Davis plonked Bond’s kit down and slid it from a distance. Bond’s eyes tracked his movements, but Davis didn’t seem to want to get any closer without Adam present.

Mary began to go through Bond’s kit with him “In here, you’ll find your ticket, identification and set of prosthetic pieces. A nose, some eyebrows, mustache and a mole. It explodes by a remote in your watch, once you combine it with the nose. You can set the timer. ”

When Adam circled back, Bond brushed Mary’s help aside and stared her away. She went to stand with Davis and pretend to repair equipment.

“The watch is still in my flat.” Adam said softly, he raised his voice to speak the rest. “I see you have your I.D and ticket to Barcelona. There’ll be a car waiting for you in the airport lot. Call us for a return trip.”

“I know the drill.” Bond paused for a moment as he studied his paperwork. His eyes flicked up to Adam and back down. “Call her.”

“What? Now?”

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” Bond asked Mary and Davis. “I’m sure there are agents who would prefer help from Q-branch, rather than to know they were stuck in the field because you were wool-gathering.” Bond turned his back to Mary and Davis and waited patiently for them to startle and race off to check on the agents.

“That was completely unnecessary and cruel.” Adam said, but he dialed R on his mobile.

R picked up. Bond yanked the phone from Adam’s hands. He wasted no energy in wasting conversation. “M’s looking for a person of interest.” He heard R’s sigh on the other end.

“Whoopdee doo.”

“She’s looking for you.”

“You cunt, what’d you say to her.”

“Nothing. They discovered the body. M wants to know what he was doing here and who killed him. and if we need to kill the one who killed him.”

“Ahaha no. They’ll never believe I killed him to protect them, they’ll only see that I stole it. Oh and murder.”

“I’m supposed to be investigating, you’re coming in, now.”

“You’re gonna get it if I don’t come in, aren’t you?”

“Possibly.”

“Adam’s gonna get it, isn’t he?”

Bond’s eyes drifted over to Adam. “Yes.”

“Well then, Agent Handsome Face with Brains, somebody is about to die.”

Bonds hand moved unconsciously to his beretta. “You’re over your heads here, the both of you. How far have you got on the...thing?”

“On the...thing? Great code word work there sunshine. Oh, as far as nowhere.”

Bond sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Your intentions are good, your plan is bad.”

“My plan is brilliant.”

“Your plan requires you and one boffin vampire, who I am making take sick leave.”

Adam came stuttering to life. “What!? What? I’m not sick.”

“Brilliant, then we’ll have more time to spend together.”

“Adam. Take the time off. Go work with R.”

“I actually like working at MI6, I don’t want to be fired over this!” Adam hissed. “You tell her that. NO. I’ll tell you that!”

“Tell him he’s a traitor.”

Bond stared at Adam. “She says you’re a traitor.”

Adam froze, his face going paler, if possible before it flushed a bright red. “You tell her she’s an asshole.”

Bond gave Adam a small smile. “He says you’re an asshole and I say you need to come in.”

“Stop being a little bitch and man the fuck up. Go investigate, Bond. Dragging me in won’t reveal anything. You found the body, now go find the answers,” was R’s cryptic answer. She hung up on him.

Bond murmured to Adam. “Get sick and go home, now.”

Adam swallowed, but he only nodded. “Goodbye 007, and good luck, try to bring the equipment back in one piece.”

Once more, Bond marched back out of Q branch, a new kit, a new watch, a new face and a new mission.


	12. Mystery Dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugh it's monday. yay an update!

Bond dropped the Aston Martin Vantage into second gear, before revving the engine and throwing it brutally into a higher gear, speeding around a corner. He caught gunfire on the rear fender. A glance in the rearview mirror showed pedestrians who were out late at night, drop to the ground. Some didn't rise again. Collateral damage. His eyes returned to the streets ahead. He needed to get out of the city.

Q’s voice came over his earwig. “Bond? It was a trap. Where are you now?”

He clipped a curb, trying to take it too fast, he grunted at the impact. “Trying-urk, to stay alive.”

“Jolly good then, we’re picking you up now. Make a left. I said left!!” Q yelled into the earwig as Bond peeled off to the right into an alley.

“Sorry Q, traffic is killer.” Bond’s jaw tightened as a set of headlights appeared around the corner of the alley entrance. “Damn.”

“What happened?” M’s voice came over the line.

“Oh, something didn’t agree with me at dinner.” Bond replied, his voice humorless and crisp, unemotive.

The truth is, his mark hadn't shown up at the prearranged dinner. Right as Bond moved to scratch his fake nose, deciding it was high time to leave, a bullet punched its way through the restaurant. It just missed him, but not the woman sitting at the table across from him. She had been openly admiring him since before he’d even had the wine menu shown to him. Her ample décolletage, hiked up to her neck, was an impressive sight, and he marveled at the feat of engineering that was doing a very brave job. He applied himself delicately to his simple glass of wine, her husband meanwhile, stuffed his face and completely ignored her.

After the first bullet, he ducked, whereupon a barrage of bullets followed him. Rising up during a break to reload, he fired back. The entire restaurant had become the center of an unexpected gunfight. Broken glass, tables overturned and people screaming. Bond’s fake face was grim and determined. He spared a glance around, the pretty, unknown lady’s eyes stared blankly out at him from where she had landed on the table. Her husband was riddled with bullets across his large stomach, his face left in a permanent surprise.

When he heard the silence, indicating his opponent either moving to a better vantage point or waiting for him to make a mistake, Bond ran towards the back of the restaurant. He zig-zagged and rolled as the unknown shooter fired once more. He threw himself through the kitchen doors in the back. He left behind a restaurant full of spoiled waste.

“So I fancied a drive through town.” Bond's attention was brought back to the road, he hit the Ave. Del Parallel and made a right, fishtailing it through the evening traffic. He paid no attention to the honking drivers, he focused solely on getting out of the city. Around the plaça de les drassanes…

“007. 007!” M’s voice cut through his concentration.

“Ma’am.”

There was a short puff of breath before she came back online. “Where are you going? Let Q direct you.”

“He’s 700 miles away M, I don’t think he can guide me in real time.” Bond said quietly, he shifted and got on the B-10, he’d have a better chance of being picked up by the cops for speeding and hopefully getting them to take on his pursuer. “Barcelona is lovely this time of year. I wish I could have stayed longer.”

“007. Report. What happened at dinner.” M repeated her earlier question.

“I was stood up. It appears I’m not the belle of the ball.” Bond jerked the steering wheel to avoid an Alpha Romeo. “I wonder if it was my nose.”

“How’s the car holding up, 007?” Q’s voice came back on. Of course he’d be curious about his projects.

“Drives like a dream. Sorry about the bodywork you’ll have to do on it.”

“You mean I’ll get it back!?” Q asked, his voice filled with amazement. “Why 007, I didn’t think you cared.”

“Hmmm, I didn’t say you’d get it back in one piece.” Bond smiled at the squawking noise Q made over the line. “Where the hell are the authorities?” Bond asked, his voice demanding.

“We told them to stand down. You weren’t shooting up an embassy, and the Spaniards owe us a favor.” M said, her voice soft and dry.

Bond sighed. There went his plans. “This is what happens when I plan. Nothing goes right.”

“Oh,” M said, “Did you want a bunch of bumbling Spanish constables interrupting your interrogation? I can arrange that if you like.”

“If it wouldn’t be too much trouble.” Bond growled at a slow moving vehicle, before lowering his window and shooting it’s tire to get it out of the way and into the path of the driver shooting at him.

“Remember, we want them alive.” M said, her voice pushing over his earpiece powerfully.

“I’m sorry, I may have to disappoint you.” Bond tore off his fake nose and mole and pressed them together. He pulled the handbrake, turning the car, shifted into first gear and shot forward into oncoming traffic. Horns were going off left and right as divers panicked to avoid him. He gunned it towards his pursuer. The bullets ricocheted off of the body of the Vantage, taking out his windshield, the tires of other cars and innocent bystanders.

Bond narrowed his eyes as the black Mercedes continued directly towards him. It was a game of chicken, until Bond jerked the steering wheel to the side at the last minute and lobbed the wad of explosives through his broken windshield and into the Mercedes’s open window. He caught a bullet to the shoulder for his tactical sacrifice. It grazed through, burning, but he grabbed at his watch, reaching for the button to make the explosion go off, with no delay.

“Shit.”

He hadn’t planned on the Mercedes pulling the same trick as he had, it tore after him, as he went to hit his watch button. He veered off onto the Moll de Ponent, expensive boats, he could deal with losing. Lives, were too costly. More shots, he pressed his watch...but what he wasn’t expecting, was the Mercedes to speed up and rear-end him, as the explosive went off. Combined, the force threw the Vantage forward and into the murky waters off the docks that connected to the Balearic Sea.

Bond’s face slammed into the airbag and then back into his seat, as his momentum pushed him back and then to the side, as water filled the open window. It poured in, weighing the car down and splashing its way into his mouth. He spit it out, the taste of oil and salt sticking to his mouth as he fought the airbag and his seat-belt, before recalling the eject button Q was fond of. That’s when it went horribly wrong. He would argue that things had gone wrong with his first meeting with R. Things HAD been going well before then, when it was just him and Adam.

When Bond hit the eject button, the ceiling of the Vantage couldn't roll back all the way and fire came pouring in. The material of the airbag caught fire, Bond risked his own hands and pushed the airbag down into the water to put the fire out. Alarms went off and the ejector seat blessedly stayed locked to the car. Q’s recorded voice came over the alarm.

_“Ejection unsafe. Warning, warning. Ejection unsafe. Warning, warning.”_

The bulk of the Mercedes had landed on the Vantage and was burning away. This time, Bond breathed in smoke. He breathed in some water as well. Best to cover both bases, he thought sourly.

“007? 007!” M’s voice came back on, but Bond’s didn’t.

\----------

“Bond? Bond!?” M waited, but all that she could hear was static. She turned to Q. “Get him back.”

Q was studying the satellite photos, his face grew older in a heartbeat as the fiery crash appeared. He hit a few keys on the keyboard in front of him and the chatter from the Spanish Authorities came up. “Oh dear.”

“What’s the problem?” M asked she was also studying the satellite images, along with Tanner.

Q rewound and played back the recorded satellite images and video. “It’ll be awhile before we get him back.” Q said, his brown eyes heavy with the sad news. “I’m afraid the car 007 was driving has ended up in the sea.”

“He also detonated the prosthetic explosive we sent with him.” Mary said from behind Tanner. “See the heat signature.”

“If he didn’t die from the explosion…” Davis’s voice trailed off as four pairs of eyes rounded on him. “Um.” He cleared his throat. “The water.”

“Then he could still be alive.” M said brusquely.

“I never thought you to be an optimist, M old girl.” Q said, he switched the audio feeds, trying to pick up the harbormaster.

“If he is, then I’ll kill him myself when he gets back, for making a hash of it. Keep searching Q.” M ordered. She nodded once before leaving the branch.

“007 has more lives than a cat.” Tanner remarked, stepping up to help Q sift through the satellite images, security cameras and audio feeds.

“Do you think they have as many lives as their designation?” Davis asked absentmindedly. “Lucky son of a bitch.”

“Davis.” Mary hissed.

“What? Isn’t 007 on life number oof-” Davis ended his wonderings with an elbow in his ribs. “Ow. What? We’re techs, not miracle makers. Be reasonable Mary.”

“Until we’re told to stop searching for 007, we search. If we don’t find him alive…”

“We’ll find him dead.” Davis said, his temper bubbling to the surface, “because that’s what we do. And where the fuck is Adam? Bond leaves, Adam leaves. What’s going on with those two?”

Mary glanced at him from the corner of her eyes, her hands continuing to do her task. “I don’t know. He said was feeling poorly, Q let him leave. Doesn’t like germs floating around the branch.”

“It’s been two nights!” Davis said, his voice rising. “Two.”

“Children?” Q drawled out. “If you can’t be useful when we most need you, then you can hide yourselves off and be unproductive elsewhere. I’ll file a report and Tanner will co-sign it as witness.”

Mary and Davis mumbled apologies to Q and Tanner before getting back to work and trying to productively find 007.

Mary sighed. “What do you want me to do about that Davis? Track him down? Battle his germs to get answers for you?”

“Yes!” Davis said, biting out the word harshly.

“Really, that’s hardly appropriate equipment usage.” Mary snorted through her nose.

“As if the agents aren’t above inappropriate equipment usage and THEY work for Queen and country, just like us. Find Adam.”

“You’re impossible. Get on task.” Mary hissed at him, her head shaking at his pushing.

“Adam could do this better and faster. You want to find 007 don’t you? So, I bet, if we find Adam, we’ll find 007...faster, easier, sooner. Alive.”

“I’m insulted and I hate that you have a point.” Mary compressed her lips. Finding a sick tech that could lead to finding a live agent faster seemed to sway her. “Alright.” Mary’s fingers moved on the keyboard, switching programs and opening windows. “Watch for Q.”

It was a long night with a long morning ahead of them, as time passed and there was no sight of 007.


	13. Protection

It was another 24 hours after Bond had swam, spit and kicked himself out of the Spanish harbor, to finally end up on the doorstep to Adam’s flat, knocking and whispering, but there was no answer. He’d had no contact with anyone from MI6, that was purposefully done. Adam wouldn’t have been able to reach him and Bond didn’t have his numbers on hand. He couldn’t go through MI6 without someone giving him away.

“Shit.” Bond whispered to himself, he bent down to study the lock and came away disappointed. “Shit.” Someone had already picked it.

Bond pulled a small Beretta from under his jumper, he had picked it up, along with some of his own clothes, from one of his unknown storage units scattered throughout London. Some only contained the necessities, others, first aid supplies, a safe place to rest and arm himself.

The door slowly creaked open, as Bond toed it, before slipping inside. His shoulders drooped for a fraction of a second, before he tightened them against what he would find. The flat was a wreck. Adam’s books and shelves were all on the floor...the television smashed...boxes of tea scattered throughout the kitchen, into the hall. His miniature bottles of liquor emptied and smashed. Toilet paper strewn about.

Bond edged further in, finding clear spots for his feet. His breath hitched at the bloody paw prints, sure to lead to humans, but instead they led to the bodies of Adam’s two cats. Curled against each other, still in death. His lips compressed and once more he hardened a piece of himself and moved forward. By the time he came striding back into the living room, he was confused and angry. There was no sign of Adam or R. He hadn’t decided if that was a good thing...or a bad thing yet.

Bond nearly assassinated a sofa cushion, as a mobile suddenly rang, the sound bouncing off the disturbed living room walls. He plowed through the debris, until he found it.

_Unknown Caller._

He pressed the call button and held the phone up to his ear, saying nothing.

“What’s the password?” A familiar, firm, soft voice came over the line.

“Boffin, pop-star or vampire.” Bond replied, just as softly, his jaw clenched shut in relief and irritation. He heard a puff of a sigh, before the voice spoke again.

“007.”

“Hathard.” Bond mispronounced the name on purpose and as he expected, the sound of R laughing in the background came through, faintly. They were both alive. The tension he had been holding in his shoulders finally sagged out and he could holster his weapon. There was nothing in the flat that needed protecting and wherever Adam and R were, he’d find them soon and get them somewhere safe. He began to filter through his mind, his various safe houses where he could stash them.

“Bond! How the devil did you get back without anyone knowing?” Adam asked, his voice rushing fast, in his relief and curiosity.

“I bought a plane ticket.” Bond said simply. He moved to stand by one of the windows and looked out at the alleyway, surveying his exit opportunities and to see if anyone was watching the building. Nothing moved.

“MI6 would have been alerted, you’d have been met at the airport.” Adam said, sounding like a proper employee that followed the rules at every turn.

Bond rolled his eyes. “If I used them, they would have known where I was. I do have my own money, and I don’t like for them to always know where I am. Keeps them on their toes.”

“But they would have your accounts and credit cards monitored.” Adam argued. “Ergo, they would know when and where to expect you.”

“I have accounts not monitored by MI6.” Bond explained. “Among other things. Is this what you really wanted to talk about when you called me on a mysterious phone from an unknown number?”

Adam was silent for a moment. “No...but how…”

Bond grinned, Adam couldn’t see him, “Computers can be a blessing or a curse, depending on the user.”

“Dammit Bond.” Adam said, Bond could hear the laughter behind the words. “You ARE a menace.”

“Now, now. You shouldn't listen to office gossip. How did you know I was here.” He began to glance carefully around the flat, nothing stood out, but between Adam and R, who knew what they were monitoring.

“I have security cameras hidden in the light fixtures---what?---stop!” Adam grunted out and something soft hit the speaker on Adam’s end, followed by a loud slapping smack, Bond heard it. “OW!”

“Adam?” Bond asked, his body tense at the interruption and ensuing scuffle.

“Those brigands fucked up the flat and Adam’s cats!” R’s angry voice came over the line. “I want them found, I want them dead, I want their families dead, I want their hearts to bleed out before their body gives out, I want them to feel it! I want--OW!--FUCK OFF! HEY!”

Bond eyed the phone again at the cursing and fighting that was going on, on the other end. “Guys? Guys? GUYS!!!” He bellowed into the receiver.

Adam’s voice came back on breathless. “Apologies, 007. R, stop asking him to kill people for you.”

“Where are you?” Bond asked, trying to get the conversation back on track and the information he needed.

“Somewhere safe. They found us, as you can see.” Adam’s voice was dry and sarcastic.

“Are you in one piece?” Bond asked, as he searched through the debris for anything useful.

“We’re alright.” Adam said briskly.

“I’m coming to you. I’m sorry about your cats.” Bond said, he hesitated in his search. “Should I…”

“No. Thank you. At least you understand loss. No, don’t come to us, we can’t trust anyone not to follow you.”

“No one knows I’m here, remember.” Bond growled out the reminder, he needed to do something, no matter what Adam said.

“If you came to the flat, they may still be monitoring it. You need to get out, make sure you’re not followed and go...somewhere, I don’t know.”

“Adam.”

“No 007. We’re glad you’re alive. We still have work to do.”

“I can’t protect you like this.”

“We can protect ourselves Bond.” Adam’s voice came out pleading in the end. “Bond, please. If you trust us...if you trust me, you need to let us do this. I can’t protect you either…”

“I’m not the one that needs protection!” Bond’s voice hissed out, pressing urgency into his voice.

“Oh yes you do, even if it’s from your own good intentions. If they think you know where we are...I can’t, we can’t, we might not be able to…” Adam’s words trailed off as he tried to finish his train of thought. “As soon as we’re done with this conversation, put the phone down and turn it off. I’ve rigged it to destroy itself on a ten second delay, it'll be strong enough to set fire to one of the pillows. Smoke alarms will go off and my flat will be...Bond? Bond, what are you doing? Don’t! Don’t walk out with it, don’t take it with you! I can’t...you idiot! You...menace...”

“You say such lovely things.” Bond smiled as he pressed the end button, hanging up on Adam. He winked up at the main light fixture and tucked the phone into his back pocket. One never knew when explosives would come in handy.

A game of cat and mouse happened as he kept to the shadows, avoiding any tails or watchers to Adam’s building. He headed for MI6 and M.

Glenys looked up from her desk as Bond came striding through the secretarial pool. She leaned back and crossed her arms over her chest. “Well, well well. Look at what the cat dragged out of the Thames. Bit casual for you, isn’t it James? Did date night get interrupted?”

“I’ve had worse.” Bond said. He walked up to her. “The old girl in this evening?”

“Been here since the wee hours.” Glen stood up from her desk. “Shall I walk you in?”

Bond paused and gave a curt nod. What he had to say, wasn’t meant for Glen’s ears. As usual, when Glen suspected there was more to the story, she kept her mouth shut and walked the agent to M’s office. She tapped her knuckles on the door.

“Come in.” M called.

Glen nodded to Bond and he pushed past her to let himself into M’s office.

“Ah, Bond. Glad you could show up before we held your funeral. I’ll just delete the obituary I was working on shall I?” M said, she removed her hands from her keyboard. “Death is quite a dull business.”

“That depends, on whose death and whose business it is.” Bond said, he settled himself into one of her chairs. “Speaking of business, something was stolen.” He stopped, he needed to form his answer and explanation carefully.

“Perhaps you’d like to tell me what was stolen?” M said, she folded her hands in front of her and watched him, waiting.

Bond remained quiet for a moment too long.

“What Bond, spit it out. I’ve had a long day since you decided to play dead.” M pushed at him.

“A worm, or part of a worm, was stolen.” Bond answered her.

M leaned back in her seat. “See what happens when you investigate, rather than shoot on sight?”

Bond rolled his eyes. “I wish I had shot on sight.”

“So, a worm was stolen, do you know what it does, where to find it, who made it?” M rattled off her questions at a fast clip.

“Yes and sort of yes and no.”

M frowned at him, his answer was less than expected. “What does that mean.”

“I know what the worm is and I know that the copy of it was stolen. The thief killed our assassin extraordinaire.” Bond explained.

“Are they a danger to us?” M asked, it was her job to find the threat and nullify it before it became a problem.

“Yes and no.” Bond said, still tiptoeing around the truth.

“What is with you today? It’s like pulling teeth. Get it together and report, or get out of my office until you have your head screwed on straight.” M bit out, she was disappointed in her top agent. Bond could see it in her eyes. She was used to him being more coherent and put together.

“I’m fine.”

“Then, find them. Take them out and deliver the parts of the worm that…”

Bond interrupted her orders. “It’s a bit more complicated than that M.”

Frustrated, M leaned forward again and clasped her hands on her desk. “How complicated can it be?”

“I know who helped create the worm, who stole it, but not where the original worm is.” Bond finally spilled his secret. Damn.

M sat back, as if he’d slapped her. “You know...what the hell have you been keeping from me 007?”

Bond shook his head, “This is…complicated. You know who created it as well.”

“What?” M asked, shocked. “ I know no such thing.”

Bond could see her searching through her memories, long though they were. He smiled, a shark’s smile. “You recruited him. Orphans always did make the best recruits.” Bond could see the memories shift behind M’s eyes, she’d get there...and once there, her face tightened.

M punched the intercom on her desk. “Tanner, fetch me Adam Smith.” She released the intercom. “You have a lot of explaining to do 007.”

Bond sat back and waited for the inevitable. A spy’s work was a waiting game. It wasn’t long before Tanner came back from Q branch, with no Adam.


	14. Time to Choose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, good buddies, i have one more chapter and a bit of an epilogue of this dog and show pony to post. so next monday, will be my last update. i suppose i could do it sooner, but you know, you get in a pattern ;)

“Where is he?” M asked, as she saw Tanner come back alone. Moneypenny glanced into M’s office right behind Tanner, but the door was shut swiftly.

“He’s not there.” Tanner explained quietly. “He called in sick, two days ago.”

M’s face tightened and she was speaking, tightly. “Bond, bring him in. He’s your next assignment, as he’s our main suspect now.” She looked away to her monitor, the subject was closed. Her agent had his mission, she expected results, immediate results.

Bond looked over his shoulder at Tanner, who walked back to the door to let him out. “He shouldn’t be. I told him to go home sick.”

M’s gaze moved with lightning speed, from her screen to his face. “I beg your pardon.”

Bond heard Tanner’s sigh behind him as he moved away from the door.

“I told him to go home sick.” Bond repeated himself.

“What? What is going on? I didn’t think I would have to worry about my own employees, especially those I hand selected.” M glanced up at Tanner as he walked back to stand beside Bond’s chair. “We never look to our friends until it’s too late.”

“I didn’t…M!” Bond said, trying to draw her attention.

“Bring him in Bond, that’s an order. Take Tanner.” M said, ignoring Bond. She returned to the rest of MI6 business, piled on her desk and in her computer.

Tanner’s shoulders sagged at the order, but he firmed them up, like the good little soldier he was and as Bond strode purposefully and swiftly from the room, Tanner followed him like a shadow.

“I’d appreciate it, if you at least waited until we got out of the building, before you decided to lose me. I’d like to not be caught on camera this time.” Tanner said as he checked his watch. “Besides, you’ll need his address, which I have.”

“So do I.”

That brought Tanner up short. “How...why do you know that?”

Bond didn’t answer and let Tanner fill in his silence.

“As I thought, I doubt you know where he lives.”

“Well, I stopped at his flat before coming here, which is why I know where he’s not.” Bond countered, he sighed. “This is going to get repetitious fast.”

“You couldn’t possibly know where one rogue intern would be hiding, or living, for that matter. Unless…” Tanner sighed at the end of his words. “Dear God, it is a habit with you, isn’t it. The tragic romance. Are you Juliet or Romeo this time, perhaps there’s a bit of Ophelia about you.”

“Why do people assume I’m romantically attached to everyone I try to help?” Bond asked, his voice harsh as he threw it at Tanner.

Tanner, used to such histrionics, merely spread his hand outs, demonstrating the scene that they were having to react to. “Because dear boy, had you no feelings for this person, you would not have put yourself through hell and back.”

“That proves nothing. You know how I like to be right.” Bond said.

“I know how you like to protect the innocent.” Tanner said, he punched the button for the lift, he ignored the rest of the goings on, from the floor. The glances from the secretary.

“That’s my job.” Bond said, coming up swiftly behind Tanner, who didn’t budge. Bond wondered what it would take to actually intimidate the man. Nearly brushing his arm with his chest, he could see himself reflected in the lift doors, behind Tanner. He leaned in to whisper. “A license to kill, or not to kill. In the end, it’s up to my discretion.”

Tanner snorted and looked over his shoulder at Bond. “Discretion. Define that for me, would you. I imagine blowing up an embassy on camera, is under your definition of ‘discretion?’”

Bond made a small tsking sound and stepped back from Tanner as the lift pinged.

“Ah, saved by the bell. I’ll walk you to the entrance. Since you say you know where he is, I’m assuming it’s not at his current flat. We’ll take a car there, report to M about it being empty, I’ll come back here to distract her, while you track down your current…”

“Don’t even think about finishing that sentence.” Bond said, squaring his shoulders and shoving past Tanner to enter the lift.

“Paramour.” Tanner finished and stepped in, facing Bond. “And bring him in. Is that clear 007? It’s the best I can do for you.”

Bond grimaced. Damn Tanner, the man was actually trying to help him, he graced the man with a brisk nod, waiting for the lift to drop to the lobby so he could get the hell out of there and away from MI6 to find his wayward charges.

Tanner asked the driver to wait for them at Adam’s flat. He approached the building cautiously and let Bond take the lead.

“It should be alright, but we wouldn’t want anything to happen to M’s favorite.”

Tanner sighed. “Don’t make me regret you. You know how she feels about favoritism.”

Bond cleared the flat and called for Tanner to enter. Tanner stood amongst the broken fragments of Adam’s flat. He turned slowly, and squatted down on the floor to push a couple of things out of the way. Without saying anything to Bond, he walked slowly and steadily through the rest of the flat. He stopped once at the cats and knelt to brush a hand over a foot.

“Shame.” Tanner said.

“Quite.” Bond replied, his own voice soft and quiet. He glanced once up at the light fixture before he continued on with Tanner to the bedroom.

“Right. Well he’s not here.” Tanner said after a perfunctory glance through the bathroom and the closet. “I’ll head back to MI6, you, find your…”

“For Christ’s sake.” Bond muttered, stalking away to stand in the living room, hands on his hips. “Get out.”

Tanner laughed, as he walked past Bond. “I’ll get a cleanup crew sent over. You’d best be gone by the time they show up.”

At Bond’s curt nod, Tanner shut the front door behind him. Bond counted to five and sure enough...the mobile in his pocket rang. He left the mobile behind after receiving an address. Thankfully, Adam hadn’t put up much of a fight.

“Alright.” Adam had said. “I can’t promise anything from R, but I’ll be here. It’s time to go to M and come clean. OW! STOP THAT.”

Bond endured the sounds of another scuffle on Adam’s end.

“I’m not coming.” R said. “I don’t like this.”

“You don’t like anything, we know.” Adam could be heard in the background.

“Give Adam the phone and pack up your things. I’ll be at your location in...10 minutes.” Bond said. He stalked out of the flat for the last time. He was at the corner of the block, when the smoke alarms started going off, MI6 would have an interesting cleanup time. M would be pissed. Bond smiled, good.

Bond stood inside a wretched block of flats. He eyed the peeling wallpaper on the walls, waiting for the mice and fleas to come running out, sure that the bubonic plague was lurking.

“Stop looking like you’re going to get dirty, you big school girl.” R said. She grinned up at him from what Bond was sure was a flea ridden or bed bug ridden sofa typing away on her laptop. “I thought you were wearing your play clothes?”

Bond rolled his eyes and shifted, but that meant he caught Adam’s admiring look and small, teasing grin, before it disappeared.

“Right, I think I have everything.” Adam said, patting his god awful jacket and laptop bag.

“No.” Bond said. “You’re missing something.”

“What?” Adam spun around trying to see what Bond meant. “I don’t see…”

Bond pointed at R.

“Oh. Right. That.” Adam grimaced at R, before walking to her nesting place and kicked the sofa.

“My preferred pronoun is asshole.” R said, paying no attention to them, she continued to code like a madwoman.

“You have to come this time R. I think 007 is ordered to kill you if you don’t.” Adam said, he glanced at Bond, who only shrugged. “You’re no help.”

“I’m to have Adam neutralize your drive.” Bond said. Good, this got both of their attentions. Adam’s face paled and R’s countenance became a thundercloud.

“You know what that will do to him don’t you?” R asked. She sat up and pulled the R-drive from her laptop, looped it around her head and snapped her laptop shut.

“Well, now I know that he still doesn’t have access to it.” Bond said, he stepped up behind Adam, fitting the two of them snuggly together.

“Hey!” Adam squeaked out, going stiff with surprise.

Bond trapped Adam’s left arm and hand, he wrapped his right hand around Adam’s bony, delicate wrist and manhandled him towards R.

“What the fuck Bond?” R yelled, leaning back as the weird three legged race lurched towards her. “Don’t do that!” R slapped a hand over her chest.

“Bond, please.” Adam whispered, his frame was rigid as he tried to resist, his eyes on R’s necklace and the distance between her and his hand. “It’s true what I said. The device will go off, and if it’s touching R at the same time…”

“Then it sounds like R, needs to come with us.” Bond thrust Adam’s hand at R. “Move it, asshole.”

She jerked away. “Bitch.”

“Please don’t fight.” Adam said. “Bond, let me go, this isn’t necessary.”

“For Queen and Country, Adam. Anything is necessary, you know that.” Bond whispered in Adam’s ear.

“That is kind of hot.” R said, her free hand waving up and down the duo. “Tell you what. I’ll go, but only if you say ‘come with me if you want to live,’ and then kiss him.”

“You know what Bond, I don’t think R will come with us willingly. I’ll get the R-drive, you carry the two of us out of here, deal.” Adam said, glaring at R. He dove for her, but Bond snagged him around the waist and hauled him back, as R rolled off the couch and onto the floor.

“Dick.” She said, flinging the word at Adam.

“Asshole.” Adam threw back at her, from the safety of Bond’s arms.

Bond just rolled his eyes for the umpteenth time. “If you are both done being stupid.”

“Not hardly.” R said, she picked herself up from the floor and brushed herself off. She sighed. “Time to pick a side, isn’t it. Dammit. Shit, Adam. It’s not safe.”

Bond set Adam on the floor. Adam adjusted himself and then approached R, he tucked a strand of orange hair behind her ear.

He spoke to her quietly. “It’s safe as long as you keep hold of it. No one can get into that drive, except you. You know what would happen if anyone tried.”

R grinned. “All right.” She turned to Bond and held her hand up in the Vulcan salute. “Agent Handsome Face with Brain, take me to your leader.”

“I thought you liked Star Wars, not Star Trek?” Bond asked, walking to the door.

“He’s so hot when he nerds. How do you not faint when you hear it?” R asked Adam, in a stage whisper out of the side of her mouth.

“I heard that.”

“Damn those Vulcan ears.” R said, still teasing the dangerous man.

The dangerous man turned to glare at her, which only made R laugh and slap Adam on the back.

Adam grinned back at her and flashed his sunny smile at Bond before he focused back on R. “To meet M, let’s uh, get you some trousers first…uh, no don’t wear that!”

“What? It’s what I grabbed. I don’t see you looking any better, either of you.” R had argued about her appearance. “Do you want me or my clothes? Don’t answer that. Let’s go you fashion bulldogs.”

So that was how Bond, Adam and R, wearing baggy plaid trousers and a green velvet suit coat over her Han Shot First t-shirt ended up sharing a cab to headquarters.


	15. Come Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoops i forgot about 007 fest and games so i need to shove the rest of this story to you this week so i'm free to wreak havoc in july.

M was not impressed, to say the least. She peeled R apart with one look, her eyes sharp and glinting from where she sat behind her desk. Done with R, she turned her displeasure on Adam. “Are you a liability or an asset, I had hoped that you were the latter and not the former.” She folded her hands atop each other on her desk. “You’ve corrupted one of my top agents-”

“M-” Bond interrupted her, or he tried at least, but she just bowled right over him.

“No 007, that’s what he’s done. Corrupted one of my double-ohs, harbored a murderer, a fugitive and from what I understand, hiding a world ending worm. Now, tell me where I’ve gone wrong.” M said, her voice soft and deadly. 

It cut into Adam, it would have made anyone else burst into tears and drive them to the ground, but Adam, belied by his fragile figure and bulky coat, stood taller, pushing his shoulders back and his glasses up. 

“I am not a liability, nor have I ‘corrupted’ anyone. I’ve helped a friend, I have also encouraged R to go to you. 007 stuck around to help us, after having found out our situation. He didn’t have to. Have you ever tried to get 007 to do what you want him to do?” Adam asked.

M’s eyes slid over to said Agent. Bond plastered an innocent look on his face and shrugged.

“And for that matter, have you ever tried to get this one to listen to you?” Adam nodded his head towards R. “I did my best, with what I had. I told you everything I did, everything. You knew, you knew what I had done, you even sent part of MI6 after it, but you failed. Now, it’s dropped into your lap again and you want to point fingers? Point fingers at the people that lost it, not me. I gave you everything.”

“Until now.” M said, reminding him of his current position.

“Now, now it’s a special case, a very special case.”

“Very well then.” M said, she turned her piercing gaze back to R. “Show me what you have, girl, and you might live to see another day.”

“Oh I like her. She’s feisty. Can we keep her?” R leaned towards Adam and raised her voice, not caring what M thought of her.

“R.” Adam drew the one syllable out and nudged her with his elbow.

Bond rolled his eyes and walked over to look out M’s window. She glanced at him in passing, but turned her attention back to the odd duo in front of her.

“If you’re done being impertinent, get on with it. I deal with impertinence every day, from politicians to double-ohs who have perfected the art. Show me something different or I will have you buried in paperwork and bureaucratic red tape so deep, and tight, you’ll never find your way out.”

R sighed this time and walked up to M’s desk. She curtsied. “Ma’am. Once upon a time…”

Adam pushed R in the shoulder, interrupting her spiel. “R!”

R swatted back at him. “I helped create a monster. I abandoned it, but once I saw that it was vulnerable and had been stolen, I tried to get it back, destroy it. I only have a stolen copy of it.” She tapped the R-drive under her shirt.

“I want to see this worm, I want to know what it does, I want a copy and then I want it destroyed.”

Adam gasped in exasperation, “If you kept a copy of it, do you know how fast you and MI6 would become a target? Because I promise you, if you keep it, rather than destroy it, there’s no hiding from the thieves who want it. A bounty would be out that you couldn’t out run.”

“So what do you suggest we do?” M asked, her face expecting the answer she didn’t want.

“Destroy it.” R said. 

“How” Adam asked, swinging around to look at her. “How? Now you want to destroy it?”

“At the source.” R replied.

“Where’s the source?” M asked. “I’m tired of being led in circles.”

R shrugged. “I don’t know, but somebody does. You could always send Agent Handsome Face With Brain after them.”

“Agent...what?” M asked, she glanced up at Bond, a smile catching in her eyes, but didn’t fully develop. “So the man we found, came here, with the intent to sell it or use it?”

R shrugged. “I don’t know, I just knew that he had it.”

“We were led to believe it was to be sold.” Bond said, he turned his head to look at M over his shoulder. 

She considered his words for a moment before returning her attention to R. “You’re not telling us something.” 

“I’m only telling you what I know. I’m also telling you that there are things Adam wouldn’t have fixed.” R said.

“I’ll put you in an interrogation room until you tell us all you know, and what the other fellow knew.” M said, threatening R.

“I fixed-” Adam began to protest, after catching R’s words.

“That’s old news, remember.” R said, interrupting him. She put her hands on her plaid clad hips and addressed M. “If I don’t want to talk, I won’t.”

“This is getting us nowhere, and I’ve been here with these two already.” Bond said, he turned to face R and Adam behind M’s desk.

“Turncoat.” R said, sticking her tongue at him. “Look, all I can do is help seal up some of what we helped break.”

At this, M’s eyes tightened and she drew up to her full sitting height. “Do you think I’ll just let you march down to Q branch and poke around in our computer system?”

“Yes?” R asked, facetiously.

“You must think me mad to allow something so foolish.” M said, she turned to Bond. “What do you suggest?”

“She has MI5 and MI6 on that drive. Thanks to Adam’s youthful quirks.” Bond said, his voice soft and dry as he glanced at Adam, who had the grace to finally blush and look away.

“I wasn’t that quirky.” Adam mumbled into his shoes.

M looked at R, her face grim. “I want to see what’s on that drive, now.”

“No.” R said, shaking her head, she clasped the drive tightly.

“No?” M asked, startled to be denied. 

“No. It’s not meant for you, it’s not meant for anyone else. What I have is just the only leaked copy. The original, wherever it is, is stored elsewhere.” R said.

“Then, you’ve put us in an untenable situation, in which we must destroy it, if you won’t hand it over.” M said, her voice rising.

The two women stared at each other, both sets of lips compressed, both glaring, sizing the other one up. Adam sensed a stalemate or murder about to happen. He didn’t think M could be charged with murder...M for murder, it all made sense now, he thought, focusing on his shoes.

“M, if you destroy this, you lose your one link.” Bond said, into the tense standoff.

“I want you on this, now.” M said, stabbing her finger at her desk. She looked at Bond. “007?

“Yes ma’am.”

“Escort these two, along with Tanner, down to Q-branch. I want to know what they know.” M said, she gestured with her head towards the door. Bond strode forward to gather R and Adam, to herd them away. M spoke from behind the trio. “Oh, and Adam?”

Adam turned to glance at his boss, perhaps his former boss. 

“We’ll speak after this is over and you fix what you’ve broken.” M said sternly, her eyes boring holes into his own eye sockets.

“But…” Adam’s voice trailed off...he had fixed what he had broken. His eyes darted to the back of R’s flaming orange hair. There was something else. 

“Dismissed.” M said.

Adam had no more say, as Bond and Tanner marched them out of M’s office. R’s back, arrow straight she practically danced to the lifts.

“This is going to be so much fun!” She squealed as she ran forward to wiggle her fingers at the lift buttons. “Which floor?”

“R…” Adam began.

“Shh.”

The ride down is again quiet. Adam could smell the faintest whiff of smoke coming off of Bond. Fresh off the plane, he was still a bit of a mess, a change of clothes notwithstanding. Bond caught the attention. One eyebrow rose in question. Adam shook his head. R skipped off of the lift with Tanner sighing and then chasing after her, Adam and Bond trailing.

“What’s the matter?” Bond asked after R and Tanner had gotten far enough ahead to the security doors. R was tapping her foot impatiently for Tanner to unlock the doors. 

Adam shook his head. “Old news. I fixed everything I broke, so to speak, within reason, of what I originally made.”

“Within reason?” 

“There were somethings I was asked to leave in, small things. M wanted to know if and when any of those tripped and to have a fix ready for when they did, that way she’d know-”

“If the worm had been unleashed.” Bond finished for him. He turned to glance at R once more. Her skipping had finally caught Q’s attention. “R said the worm had been updated.”

“What’s this, what’s this? You don’t belong here.” Q called from the middle of his branch and made his way to them, zig zagging through the work stations.

“Nope, sure don’t!” R called back cheerfully, ignoring Q, she made her own zig zag way through the work stations, making her way swiftly, further through the minions to the heart of Q branch, she began to run.

Q stopped short. “Tanner, what the devil? Stop her!”

Tanner and Bond took off after R, leaving Adam alone. The other denizens of Q-branch followed their boss, determined to halt an intruder. Mary and Davis popped up on either side of Adam at the commotion.

“What was that?” Mary hissed, her eyes flicking between everyone chasing R and back to Adam.

“Is it bring your kid to work day? Didn’t think Bond had any kids.” Davis said quietly, rising on his tiptoes to see better. 

“How’d she get in?” Marry asked, she leaned sideways against a workstation, still tracking the chase.

“Where the hell have you been?” Davis asked, elbowing Adam in the ribs.

“Sick.” Adam said, he let out a little cough.

“Davis said he was going to stop by your flat, we needed help, you were gone.” Marry said, tipping herself back up. “He came back without you.” 

“Without...me?” Adam asked, “I never…”

“Mary, not now, Adam, come on. We needed you to look at something, Q didn’t understand. Come on, I’ll show you. Mary make sure that girl doesn’t come back here and fuck our shit up.”

“What?” Mary asked, she swiveled around, but Davis was already pulling Adam away. “Hey.” Mary laid a hand on Davis’s arm, and that was a mistake. She never saw the small blade Davis thrust into her. She pressed her hands to her throat and tried to cry out, but it was only a gurgle. 

“Davis!” Adam breathed out, he reached for Mary as she stumbled. She caught him with her bloody hand and then she dropped quietly. “What?” In shock, he barely registered that the same knife that was used to kill Mary was now held to his throat. “Davis?” Adam whispered.

“Move.” Davis shoved him to the entrance of Q-branch and punched in the exit codes.

“But, the cameras. Security will never let you out!” Adam hissed, “You have five minutes before they’re all over you.”

Davis laughed, a cruel sound in Adam’s ear. “Idiot. Think you’re the only one who can program computers? I rigged the system ages ago, I enabled it the moment you entered Q-branch. With those jokers distracted by that girl, we’ll be long gone by then and you’ll give me what went missing. I know you have it.” 

“You!” Adam breathed out, he tried to turn his head, he felt the brush of Davis’s knife against the bottom of his jaw, he felt a tickle run down his neck as the blade pressed teasingly into his skin, letting a drop of blood spill out. 

Davis firmed his grip. “Take the stairs. Garage level.”

With a shaking hand and an even faster churning mind, Adam hit the crash bar to the fire doors and the dark stairwell. Odd bits of soda cans and bits of paper and chewing gum were tucked here and there along the steps. Forgotten by their owners. Adam stumbled along with Davis as they made their way to the garage level. Davis pushed Adam out of the door, hard, he stumbled.

“Get up. Keep moving.” Davis pressed the knife harder against Adam’s skin, a second cut opening on the delicate skin.

“It was you...you were passing information.”

“Way to go Sherlock, figure that out all by yourself?” Davis laughed, the sound was hollow. “I want the drive, I had a buyer lined up.”

“You tipped him off, he’s the one who tried to kill 007.”

Davis sighed. “Betrayal can be tricky, you have to do it just right.”

A dark sedan looked to be what Davis’s goal was. If he let Davis take him, he’d never see...anyone again. No one would know what had happened to him, he’d be gone. One minion amongst many. At least the R-drive was safe. Davis would kill him faster once he realized he didn’t have what he was looking for. R! Adam’s mind churned, and then he held his breath, as the sound of a gunshot rang out through the garage and Davis’s knife slipped along his neck, cutting into him. Adam jerked and raised his shoulder. He fell with Davis, trapping the blade between his cheek and shoulder. He closed his eyes and waited for the killing blow, but it never came.

“Man. I need to work on my cardio.” R’s voice echoed through the garage. “Get up you big looby, you’re not hurt.”

Adam opened his eyes and moved carefully, shoving Davis’s knife away from him. “R?”

“I never did like that cunt.” R said, holstering her beloved Jericho in the depths of her baggy pants. 

Adam heard feet pounding behind her. “You knew. You knew all this time?”

“I knew something.” R shrugged. She tucked her orange hair back behind her ears. “What? You want I should have let him kill you?”

“Dammit R, you could have said!” Bond yelled from behind her.

R blinked as Bond ran passed her. “And if I had?”

“Then I could have done this job faster and cleaner and Adam’s flat wouldn’t have been trashed, the cats would be alive, and the two of you wouldn’t have had to have gone into hiding.” Bond rushed up to Davis and disarmed him, turning him over. “He’s still alive!” 

“Of course. You don’t think I just carry this around because it looks pretty? Does it make my ass look smaller?” R said. “Besides, he has a lot to answer too, how much fun would it be if I killed him before he had a chance to suffer. That would make me a bad friend, wouldn’t it Adam.”

Adam didn’t answer, he was distracted by the attention Bond was placing on him. Hands ruffling his hair, his face, his body, trying to find any other damage other than the shallow cuts to the side of his neck.

“007, M wants a report.” Tanner said, huffing his way up to R. He raised his eyebrows and gave R an appraising look. “Nice work.”

“Thanks.” R said.

“I’m fine.” Adam said quietly, he placed a hand on Bond’s shoulder. “You suspected.” He said to R. “You had no evidence of who it was. You knew that there was someone within MI6 still passing along updates to the code.”

“I didn’t have anything that could have identified them. Telling you that someone in MI6 was selling information and preparing for an attack would have been like sending the hounds to hunt the fox, with no fox on the property. Or an escaped fox.” R said, she held her arms out, as Tanner patted her down and removed her weapon. 

“I’m not sure if I can give this back.” Tanner said. 

The rest of the security team showed up, Tanner handed R’s weapon over to them and asked them to watch her. “Sit on her if you have to, she’s quick.” 

“Did you know?” Bond asked, his eyes boring holes into Adam.

He shook his head. “I didn’t. R can be awfully secretive when her back is in a corner or she’s trying to puzzle something out. In this, you and I were both ignorant.” 

“You’re welcome, if anyone is listening.” R said.

“I swear to God, I’m going to paddle you and you’re not going to enjoy it.” Bond said over his shoulder.

“I might.” R said, she grinned. “I saved the day. Someone should paddle me.”

“Unbelievable.” Adam hissed out.

“Let’s get you up and cleaned up. Save the revenge for later, shall we. M will want a report and she will want to see what’s on that disk. Especially since our young Mr. Davis is still alive. We will need to track it back to him. I suspect you and Adam will play a key role in that mess. Let’s go.” Tanner said. He waved to the medics, who had followed the security team at a slower pace.

“Ugh. The dreaded medical people.” R said. “No probing. You stay away from my ass, got it?”

“Yes. And you can see to her too, she’s hurt, although she’s hiding it.” Bond said, pointing at R.

“Traitor.” R hissed.

The medics swarmed around Adam and R, separating them from each other and Bond from Adam. He hung back with Tanner.

“Well, today certainly got exciting, really fast.” Tanner said, he arched an eyebrow at Bond.

“Your excitement and my excitement levels are two different things.” Bond mumbled.

“Be that as it may. Report to M first and then see to your young man.” Tanner said, he clapped Bond hard on the back and walked back into the melee.

“He’s not my...dammit!” Bond said, scuffing his toe against the floor. He kicked a non-existent rock, just to make himself feel better.

“Come along, Bond.” Tanner called as everyone had been herded together. 

Bond rolled his eyes and then jogged at a dog-trot after the strange group. He’d had worse endings to worse cases before. M would be livid, but today was a success in his books.


	16. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND I'M DONE. FREE FOR JULY.

Adam, or Q if you please, was pushed forward into the role of Quartermaster after Silva’s blow to the heart of MI6. He’d been pushed again by double-ohs, including one previously deceased, who still had the ability to make his heart race. R was now officially R, his second in command. When asked why she wasn’t in the running for Q, M had merely looked at her and then answered her simply. “Because he is better qualified in temperament.”

“You shoot one minion and suddenly, you can’t be Q.” R grumbled.

Q smiled at R, “I’ll be back. Have to go meet Bond and deliver his equipment.”

R snorted. “Yeah, you go deliver his ‘equipment.’”

“Might I remind you of the sexual harassment policy that Q-branch and the entirety of MI6 has? Again?”

“You old fuddy-duddy. Get out of here and go make goo goo eyes and kissy faces at your favorite agent.”

“I don’t have-”

“Favorites. Blah blah blah. Go, before Agent Handsome Face with Brains decides to leave the Gallery and storm into Q-branch looking for you. Or do you want to be rescued from your tower by your prince?”

“I really, really hate you right now.” Q mumbled, but he snatched his coat and laptop bag out of his office and ran to meet Bond.

Sitting on a bench in the National Gallery, the same one that they had met years ago, that had sparked something that neither had explored, Bond stared at the retreating back, the same, god awful coat, the dark curls. Adam wasn’t as youthful as he had been years ago, but then, neither was Bond. He let a small smile tug at his face. He had wondered which hapless minion would be the next Quartermaster, since Boothroyd’s death. At least it wasn’t R.

He had enjoyed the banter of reminding themselves that they had both aged within the spy game.

“Q.”

“007.”

Mission specs and equipment handled, Q turned to Bond and softly said, “Good luck out there in the field... And please return the equipment in one piece.” His eyes drifted up and down Bond as he sat there.

Someone cared, thought Bond. It would be a shame if he disappointed his new Quartermaster.  
“Brave new world.” Bond murmured to himself. He glanced once more at the exit to the gallery he was in. Adam...or should he say the new Q, paused and looked back over his shoulder and gave Bond a brief smile.

Perhaps the future would be a little brighter.

A mobile phone pinged, it wasn’t Bond’s he glanced down and smiled. Q was still up to his old tricks.

_TEXT FROM UNKNOWN CALLER_

“Drinks when you come back?”

Bond smiled even wider and texted back. “Would love to. Anything else on the table?”

“Come back and then we’ll see.”

Bond pocketed the phone, hoping that it too would have some sort of explosive set in it, that he could use. Brave new world, indeed.


End file.
